I was, completely, disturbed by what had just happened. I was broken and hurting. I started to feel everything. My stomach was all in knots and my back was tense. I started to feel my stitches. I forgot I had had surgery the other day. I hugged my belly. I tried to keep my surgical area as protected as possible. With all my sobbing, I was bound to tear a stitch. Deborah and Nicole continued their conversation. I wasn't sure of what they were saying. I blocked them out. I had to take a mental time-out from this bullshit. They were laughing and smiling at each other. I cringed at the thought of Deborah coaching my daughter. But I had no proof. And if Haley was smart, she wouldn't admit it for a while. Smart, because I wouldn't want her to face Deborah's backlash. She could be the most cruel and unkind woman.
"What's the matter with your stomach?" Deborah asked me.
I was a bit stunned. But I forbade myself to be catatonic. I had to wait until I got home to flake out and shut down like that. "Oh, I had surgery the other day." I answered, nonchalant.
"I didn't know about that." Deborah expressed shock.
I knew she didn't know. Because I didn't tell her. I didn't want to deal with her harping at me about how I was made to have babies, and I carry so well and I have such beautiful babies. It would've moved into her wanting me to have more babies for her to keep and raise.
Nicole looked at my stomach and stared. I looked over at her and said, "that was why I was in bed. The doctors said I had to rest and stay in bed for the first week. Brad was trying to take care of me."
"Ya, Haley mentioned you were in bed." Nicole said still staring at my stomach.
"Well, are you ok?" Deborah asked.
"Ya, I'm fine. I can feel the stitches, is all."
"Why didn't you tell me?" Deborah tried to sound upset.
"Would it have changed any of this?" I gestured to both Deborah and Nicole. Neither answered. Both looked at the table. "Exactly. What's the point? My surgery has nothing to do with what's going on now."
Neither of them said anything. Sheila sat quietly across from me. Now was a good time to leave. I was tired, nauseated, sore, exhausted and was no longer capable of dealing with bullshit. I knew that if I stayed much longer I would start to say things that I really shouldn't. I had no back up. No full knowledge of my rights and nothing to argue. Everytime I questioned Nicole about this 'non-removal removal' crap, she brings up the RCMP and how SHE decided they not press charges. I took that as a threat. It was subliminal, but it was there.
"So, Monday you'll contact me about visits with the kids? And Brad can see them?" I asked.
"Yes. I'll call you. Or, I can text you. I'll let you know on monday, anyway." Nicole answered.
"And what happens with the kids?"
"Nothing!" Deborah snapped. "They're here with me! So they'll be fine."
I didn't bother to look at her. I kept my swollen eyes on Nicole.
"Well, I will need to talk with the other kids. Get their stories."
"And when will that happen? Right away? Or will you take your time?"
"Well," Nicole looked down at the table, again. That told me what I wanted to know.
I scoffed and shook my head.
"I will try to talk to them right away. Let's just get through this as quickly as possible." Nicole finished.
"Like how you were going to talk to the kids about their biological father? You said you'd do that for me over a year ago. This had better not take that long."
