One Night Stand (Lesbian) [COMPLETED]

Ch. 4

No no no no.

Feelings? I don't believe in that shit. I never had feelings for anything. Maybe a little dash of sorrow when my mom died, but I didn't give it much thought because she wasn't there for me.

She was never there.

She cared about sex, drugs and other shit more than she cared about me; her own fucking daughter. Who the hell does that? Who opens their damn legs for a stupid dickhead and walks around for nine months, then pops a child out then decides to leave and do their own shit?

I was ashamed to call her my mom. I never once had that word spit out of my mouth. I never answered her as 'mom'. I just called her whatever I felt like calling her. She never called me her daughter, she just called me 'that kid' or 'little baby'. I was done with her as soon as I came out of her.

I once had feelings for this girl back in high school, but that quickly faded. I never saw anyone as someone who I could love. I'm not even sure if I know what that word means.

What is love?

Since I'm sitting in my house with nothing to do, I might as well search the web. I quickly type in 'What is love?'

I quickly click on a page and read the first paragraph:

Love is a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes that ranges from interpersonal affection to an emotion of a strong attraction and personal attachment.

I close my laptop and sit there. What the hell does that mean? I understand feelings, but affection? Attachment? I never had any of those things towards a person, so I never been in love.

Besides it sounds absolutely terrifying.

I get a text from Rachel saying that I needed to get ready because I'm suppose to meet that woman tonight for our hook up.

I totally "forgot" about it until Rachel reminded me. How nice of her.

I get up and take a quick shower then slip some clothes on. I'm not trying to over-do it or not hardly try at all. I just didn't want to get inside this woman's pants.

Did I just say that? What the hell?

I look at myself in the mirror and I'm pretty satisfied. By the time I get done with everything, Rachel is waiting outside for me.

As I get into her car and she pulls out, I look over at her and ask her what this woman was like, but all I got back was 'you'll like her, she's great'. I sit back and stare out the window.

Once we pull up, I know that I'm not up for this. I don't feel like being here or meeting someone.

Sometimes I really hate Rachel.

We walk inside and I look around to notice that it's a bar and a restaurant. I looked at Rachel but she grabs my wrists and pulls me to the bar. She looks around then stops next to a woman sitting at the bar.

They talk for a moment then Rachel looks at me. "Macy, this is Rebecca. Rebecca this is Macy." Rebecca smiles at me and we shake hands. Rachel excuses herself, leaving us alone. I sit down next to her and look her over; she was fairly beautiful. She had brown eyes, black hair and freckles on her face.

"Rachel has told me some things about you." she smiles and I smile a little.

"Good things, I hope."

She nods, "Of course." she smiles and I try to focus my attention on something else. It's not that she isn't attractive, because she is, but something else keeps invading my mind.

"So, you work with her?" I look back at her and nod. She smiles then nods, "That's cool. How do you like being a Graphic Designer?"

"I like it a lot. I always wanted to be something like that when I was younger."

She smiles. "A dream come true then, huh?"

I nod and the bartender asks what we want to drink. I start with something light after Rebecca orders. We sit and talk for a while, and she's pretty cool. I found out that she works as a fashion designer, and she basically travels around the state.

"So, what line do you work for?" I sip my drink while I look at her.

"Chanel." I almost spit my drink out as I stare at her.

"No shit? That's amazing!" she smiles and I look her over. This woman was amazing.

"Yeah, I think I'm doing a line for some models. They're going to Germany, I think."

I couldn't believe my ears. Here I am, on a date with a woman, trying to forget a certain someone, but yet I can't get away even if I tried.

"That's.. cool." I tried not to sound phased by the fact that she's talking about Victoria Rose, the model I slept with.

She nods. "Yeah, I'm excited to be working for Victoria Rose."

Please kill me.

I nod as Rebecca smiles, "I absolutely love her. She's an amazing model. Have you seen her work?" I shake my head and she gasps then pulls out her phone. "I'll show you some of her works, they're amazing." I watch as she scrolls through her phone then brings up a picture of Victoria.

She was wearing a bathing suit while posing, and I think I felt a tingle sensation throughout my body. I stared at the picture and couldn't turn away, it was like she was drawing me in.

"Macy?" I shook out of my daze and looked at Rebecca. "Are you ok?"

I nod, "Yeah, she's just really pretty."

She nods and smiles, "I know right? But I heard she was quite the player."

I give her a look, "What do you mean?"

She takes a drink the sets it down, "She's not the kind to settle down, I suppose. I heard that she doesn't date, I guess you would say."

I don't know why, but after hearing that about Victoria, I couldn't help but feel something inside of my heart. I'm not sure what it was, but I don't like it. I never felt it before.

I just nodded. I didn't know what to say.

The rest of the night went good. I enjoyed hanging out with Rebecca, and she was cool as hell. But I couldn't see hooking up with her, or sleeping with her. There was something blocking those thoughts and I couldn't figure it out.

After Rachel has dropped me off, I was stuck back at my house with nothing to do. I could watch TV but I might encounter Victoria again. I could search the internet, but she'll be there too.

It's like no matter what I do, who I see, where I go, Victoria is always there, and after I found out about her from Rebecca, I couldn't help but think that she is just like me. I didn't care about the women I slept with, a relationship or anything else but getting laid.

But somehow, after I found out that she sleeps around and plays other women, makes my gears turn a little. It makes me realize that maybe I don't want to do that anymore, maybe I shouldn't take advantage of women anymore. I don't think the idea of her doing all of that is inviting and I don't know why.

Maybe Rachel was right, maybe I am catching feelings.