Imperfect *Lashton*

1

Ashton felt worthless. He felt fat. He felt as though he got in everyone's way. He felt like he needed to starve himself. He felt like he would never feel loved. He felt like he was a waste of space. He felt so imperfect.

He felt as though he didn't deserve such great friends.

But they didn't know. They didn't know Ashton felt worthless. They didn't know he felt fat. They didn't know he felt as though he got in everyone's way. They didn't know he starved himself. They didn't know he needed to feel loved. They didn't know he thought of himself as a waste of space.

And they didn't know that he felt imperfect.

☆☆☆

Ashton slumped down at the lunch table.

His friends weren't there yet so he lay his head down on the table. A twisted feeling set in his stomach as he heard the sound of people laughing and eating.

They stay skinny. Ashton thought to himself. So why can't I?

"Hey, Ash."

Ashton's stomach flipped at the sound of his voice. He had somehow developed a crush on one of his best friends, Luke. And even though Luke had told them that he was gay, Ashton knew he would never like someone like him.

He was fat.

Worthless.

"Hi." He replied, quietly. Ashton sat up straight in his chair and looked up at the blonde boy.

"Where's your lunch?" He asked, a frown etched into his beautiful features.

"I ate earlier in study period. I'm not hungry anymore." Ashton lied smoothly.

He had gotten good at lying. He couldn't help it. He didn't want anyone finding out.

"Oh. Okay." Luke dropped the subject and started to eat his spaghetti.

Ashton couldn't help but watch the older boy as he ate.

His hair was perfectly spiked up and his blue eyes twinkled. His lip ring made him look hotter.

And he was skinny.

Just by looking at him, Ashton couldn't stop the small blush that appeared in his cheeks.

He quickly looked down at his hands before anyone noticed.

"Hey guys!" Calum greeted the boys and plopped down in his chair.

(Hehe. Plopped. I love that word.)

Michael just groaned and started eating his food.

"What's wrong?" Luke asked.

"Detention." He replied through a mouthfull of food.

The three boys just shook their heads. Michael always got a detention. He basically lives in the detention room.

"You're not gonna eat, Ashton?" Calum asked.

"I already ate." Was Ashton's reply. It was always his reply.

Sometimes he wished he could eat but he couldn't do it.

He didn't need to gain more weight. He was already fat.