Imperfect *Lashton*

21

Ashton's POV

I looked at the toast in front of me.

I couldn't eat it.

I'll get fatter.

I'll be a waste of space.

I bit my lip.

Don't cry.

You're such a baby.

A loser.

"Ashton." Luke called and I looked up at him.

I was sitting at the end of the long table and Luke was across from me. Anthony, Calum and Michael were further down the table arguing over something.

"Aren't you going to eat that?" He asked, eyeing the piece of toast on my plate.

I shook my head. "I'm not hungry."

"But you didn't eat yesterday." He said, concern laced in his voice.

"I'm just not hungry." I shrugged, hoping that he would drop the subject.

You can't eat.

You're fat.

Worthless.

I bit my lip, my eyes started to well up with tears.

"Eat it. It's just one piece of toast." Luke insisted.

"Just leave me alone, Luke." I said.

His face showed confusion and hurt and his eyebrows furrowed once he saw the tears.

He hates you.

He thinks you're a freak.

Pathetic.

Imperfect.

"Ashton!" He called but I had already gotten up and ran out of the food hall, making my way to the cabin.

Tears streamed down my face and my chest ached.

Why did I have to ruin everything?

I lay down on one of the bottom bunks and sobbed.

You're a nobody.

Nothing goes well when you're around.

I cried even more, my tears soaking the pillow. My chest hurt.

"Ashton!" Calum's voice called and I kept my head in the pillow, not wanting to look up.

I felt his presence beside me.

"Ashton?" His voice was soft. "What's wrong?"

My sobbing stopped.

"Luke h-hates me." I hiccuped into the pillow.

"What? No he doesn't. Ashton, Luke would never hate you." Calum said.

I shook my head. "He thinks I'm a- a freak." I stuttered out.

"No, he doesn't. Come here." Calum pulled me onto his lap and I wrapped my arms around him, burying my face into his neck.

I just really wanted Luke to be in Calum's place right now.

"You alright, now?" Calum asked, after I had calmed down.

I nodded. "Thanks, Calum."

"It's okay. But you two have to go and make out, er.. make up because you guys are my otp." He said seriously and I blushed at his muck up.

(A/N Did that even make sense?)

"C'mon, we're going kayaking today." Calum got up and I followed after him.

☆☆☆

I avoided Luke the entire way to the river.

I didn't want to see his expression. He was disgusted of me. He hated me. He's gonna look at me like I'm a freak.

I sat on the kayak, alone.

Calum and Luke went alone and Michael and Anthony were on a kayak together which I don't think is a very good idea.

I looked up and saw Luke, watching me so I paddled further into the river.

I stopped and there were only three other people around.

They started heading in my direction and I thought that they were going to turn but they didn't.

Jackson was on the kayak. He smirked at me.

"What are you doing here, fag?" He said.

I gulped.

He struck his paddle forward, making mine slip out of my hands and fall into the water.

"Hey!"

"What are you gonna do about it, huh?" His friends snickered behind him.

"Leave him alone!" Anthony's voice came from behind him.

"Yeah! Get lost you retarded baboons!" Michael yelled.

Jackson looked back at me, still smirking. "Let's see if you can swim." He pushed the kayak, making it tip over.

I fell into the water.

I can't swim.