I gasped for air. Doctors, nurses running into my room, yelling. I couldn't make up the words they were screaming as I was really trying to catch my breath. Never have I ever liked being in this body of mine. It's weak. Everyone called me a failure. A loser.
"She has to do it now, Dr. Phil," said one of the nurses.
I saw a nurse running in with a table filled with God-knows- what.
"Breathe. Just breathe," as she held my hand.
Damn. It hurts so badly. How do they do this?
Just then when I thought it wasn't going to end, a baby cry filled the room. "It's a girl," Dr. Phil announced. The nurse cleaned the baby and brought it to me, "Do you want to hold it?"
"Get her away from me," I said. She looked at me. "Bring her away," I said louder. The nurse placed her in a hospital bassinet and left the room giving me a disgusted look like how can a mother not look or hold her new-born? If she knew the truth, maybe she will understand why. It wasn't because I didn't love my baby, it was because I do. If I touched her, I'm afraid that I would never let go of her, and it kills me deeply. The nurse and the bassinet was a step further each second. I wanted to cry, I really did, but I'm trying to hold it in.
One day, baby girl. Just one day, I will meet you again. I promise you.
Fifteen more minutes till 8:30 p.m. Fifteen more minutes. I have to run, I can't be one minute late. He's coming. I have to run. Now, no matter what. Goodbye, baby girl. Tears filled my eyes as I stood up and left.
"Miss, you're not allowed to be out of your bed as you just delivered," said a nurse. I ignored her and walked rapidly. I spotted a taxi and jumped into it. "Take me far away from here, now."
