Hate That I Love You

Chapter Four.

"You know what's going to happen right?" The voice said "Please, I haven't done anything, just let me go" I whimper, tears escaping after so long of holding them in "Not so miss feisty now are we?" The voice spits back, his face getting too close to mine "Please, stop" I beg. Not holding back, or changing his mind. He places the gun to my neck, and clicks it so it’s ready to fire.

Waking up I try to catch my breath back as I feel Justin's clothes cling to me "Pia? Are you ok? What happened?" Jason shouts, bursting through my door "It's ok, calm down. I'm here" he reassures me, putting his arms around me comfortingly "I-I-It was a bad dream" I stutter, finding it hard getting my words out "I thought you stopped getting these?" He asks, pulling me away and looking in my eyes "I did, it's probably just a one off" I tell him, trying to convince him as well as myself. My breathing starts to slow down as I calm myself "Did anything set it off?" "No I don't think so" I lie, remembering the text.

"Want me to stay with you till you go back to sleep?" He asks. The sweet, caring older brother I know and love “No I'll be ok" I shake my head before lying back down, trying to forget what just happened "No screaming ok? You scared the shit out of me" Jason tells me as he stands up from my bed "Big old Jason McCann, scared huh?" I tease "Only when it comes to my little sister" he replies as he leans down, kissing my forehead before leaving. 

Looking at the clock, its 4am. Not even bothering to see if I can sleep again, and also being too scared to look at my phone I decide to take a shower.

-

Getting out, I put one of Jason's old tee-shirts on, one that I used to wear when I missed him back in England and decide to try and sleep again.

-

Waking up again I look at the clock, 10am. Standing up I take a deep breath, thankful I didn't dream again.

Noticing the house is silent I realise Jason's still in bed, or he's gone out. Walking to my window I see Jason's car has gone.

Backing away slowly from the window, my heart race speeds up and I start pacing my bedroom. Turning my music on to block the silence I light a cigarette, attempting to calm my nerves as the seconds tick by.

I'll be ok, it was just a bad dream.

Yeah, a bad dream that was once reality.

Shut up, shut up, shut up.

Beginning to argue with myself, I push my palms to my temples, trying to block out the thoughts that are consuming my mind. Giving up I sit on my bed rocking myself back and forth. 

It's ok, just calm down. 

Just calm the fuck down, Jason will be home soon. 

Looking at my wrists, I hold myself back from taking a blade from my secret stash hidden away. 

I can't do this.

Pia stop. They can't hurt you here.

-

"Pia? PIA!" The music stops and I see Jason rushing to my side. He kneels down and puts his arm around me, trying to calm me down "I wasn't even gone an hour" he mutters to himself. I ended up crouching down, sitting in the corner of my bedroom. Crying, screaming, and arguing with myself.

Jason tries to me calm down and after a few minutes, decides to talk "You're not going anywhere today ok? Just stay in bed, get some rest. I'll get you whatever you need, how about that?" He asks, trying to lighten the mood. Surprisingly it calms me down, and the tears eventually stop, my heart beat slows down to its normal pace. I nod and wipe the tears away as Jason helps me get back into bed "Tea?" He asks "Please" I reply numbly.