Hate That I Love You

Chapter Twelve.

Once a few months ago I heard something that stuck in my mind, I can’t remember where I heard it or if I even read it. But since that day it’s always in the back of my mind:

“Unless it is mad, passionate, extraordinary love, it’s a waste of time. There are too many mediocre things in life. Love shouldn’t be one of them”

Remembering it now as I watch Justin as he sleeps, I smile. I can’t help it. I don’t know whether our love is passionate or extraordinary but it’s not definitely not mediocre. Mad? Maybe. One thing I know for sure is that I love him, god damn I really love him. If anyone had told me a few years ago that I would fall in love so deeply, so quickly…I would have laughed in their face. The love I feel for him drives me crazy, it confuses me in fact. Pia McCann, a girl who has been afraid of her feelings ever since she was a little girl, falling in love? No chance. But here I am, eighteen years old feeling emotions I never thought I would.

Standing up from the bed, I put on an old pair of leggings and flannel shirt, taking my cigarettes and lighter out of my bag and walking downstairs into the back garden. Today’s the day, the big race. Almost finishing my cigarette I feel arms around my waist “Morning” Justin whispers in my ear “Morning gorgeous” I reply, throwing my cigarette to the ground and twisting in his arms “You know what tonight is right?” he asks, kissing him and pulling away soon after “You bet I do, which reminds me…I need to see if my car’s finished” I tell him, giggling slightly as I notice I might not even have my car ready for tonight. Walking back inside to the garage where I see all the guys standing by my car “Is it finished?” I ask nervously, walking slowly towards them “Sure is” Jason replies, putting an arm over my shoulders. Letting out a breathe of relief “I owe you all big time” I tell them “You just gotta win this race tonight” Dom says “You know I will” I reply, opening the door and sitting in my car “Back in a bit” I smirk, starting the car and speeding out the garage.

Leaving the windows open as I race through the neighbourhood, feeling the wind in my hair. It’s so good to be driving my baby again. Selecting the higher gear and driving for a while, switching back to a lower one as I turn the car around drifting slightly. Swerving into the driveway and back into the garage, all the guys are smiling proudly at me “How was it?” Nathan asks “Like I never stopped driving her” I reply, closing the door behind me after I get out. Checking the whole car out making sure everything’s the way I need to be, I turn to Jason “How many gas tanks have I got?” “Same as always, four” he replies “Have we got anymore?” I ask “You don’t need anymore” he states like I’m an idiot that doesn’t know what I’m talking about “That’s not what I asked. Have we got anymore gas tanks?” I repeat “No, why?” Jason asks beginning to get irritated “I’ll go see Seth later, I’ve got a little something up my sleeve” I reply, patting Jason on the chest as I leave the garage, meeting Justin standing in the doorway “What was that all about?” he asks as we walk to the kitchen “Doesn’t matter” I reply, attempting to hide the smirk across my face.

Around midday, Justin and I not doing much during the morning “Back in a minute” I tell him, walking to the garage and grabbing a paint can and a few paint brushes. On my way out I put music on throughout the house like I always do. Going back upstairs I stand outside my bedroom “Wanna help?” I ask holding up the brushes and paint “Sure” he replies, standing up and taking the paint can out of my hands. Opening the door to the empty room next to mine I stop in the middle of it “Haven’t been in here a while” I whisper. Seeing Justin looking around “Is this all yours?” he asks, studying the different paintings, words and designs on the walls “Mostly” I reply. It was kind of a small room compared to the others in the house, but one day I got bored and got all sorts of different paints, car paints, spray cans, whatever I could get my hands on. I went back up to the room and started creating random pictures on the walls, none of them any good, but it didn’t matter. It was just a way to cure my boredom, and over the years it worked, but the walls were full up now “Time to start again” I say, picking up two of the paintbrushes, handing one to Justin. Doing one wall I look at Justin, singing along to the music “You’re really good” I say, looking back at me he smiles, not saying anything “You know…I don’t actually know that much about you, yet you know more about me than anyone” I tell him, continuing to paint the other side of the wall “You know my name” he mocks “Oh wow, that’s great Justin. Because that’s all I want to know about you” I sarcastically tell him, rolling my eyes.