Hate That I Love You

Chapter Twenty One.

Song for this chapter is I'll Be by Edwin McCain.

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It's been a month. A month of dark days, twisted thoughts and insecurity. Being practically dragged out of bed by Justin, begging me to actually shower and get dressed. Seeing the look on his face every time I knew he was hurting. So I did what he wanted, why he stayed by my side every minute.

This morning it was different, the darkness that had fallen over me had lifted and it was light inside, I had my own thoughts in my mind instead of the whispers of my demons. Turning to my my right I see Justin fast asleep, the first morning I've woke up before him. I smile, and feel like I'm ready for the day. For the first time in a month I've actually wanted to get up and get showered, and get on with life.

I know why today's different, because of the dream I had last night. Ones like these only came every so often, usually in my darkest moments, and for some strange reason it always helps me.

****

"Hey sweetie" She says, their eyes beaming down at me whilst smiling.

"Mom? Dad?" I whisper, my voice being raspy from the tears. I'm nothing but a dark shadow slumbered on the ground, nothing but white around us all. My mom and dad looking like they always did. Soon after they're crouching down beside me. My mom pulling my up on her lap as she rocks me back and forth whilst I cry into her shoulder, my dads arms cuddling both of us close. As she whispers soothing words in my ears I calm down and look at her, she wipes the dampness from my cheeks "You gotta stay strong babygirl, you've been through this before and I know you'll get through it. You've got a reason now huh?" She smiles, placing a hand to my stomach, I simply nod and smile weakly back at her "That young man over there? You got a hold over him you know that? Were both looking down at you angel, and seeing you so happy with him makes our hearts melt" my mom continues, as I stare at her taking in every little detail of her before she leaves again "He loves you, and you love him. When you were growing up I always dreamed you would find someone like him, he treats you like a princess and nothing less. Don't ever let him go" "You really mean that daddy?" I ask, taking his strong hands in mine as a tear escapes "Of course. I couldn't dream of a better man for my little girl. Promise me you won't let him go? He needs you just as much as you need him sweetheart" "I promise" "We love you" "I love you too" That's when they lift away from me, but before they disappear completely they turn around "Tell Jason we love him" and with that, they're gone.

****

As I finish washing my hair and body I wrap a towel around myself, putting on minimal make up, just enough to make myself look less shit and get dressed. Leaving my hair to dry in its natural waves down my back.

Walking quietly I head downstairs into the kitchen and get everything I need to make Justin breakfast. Picking my phone up I dial Jason's number:

*Pia are you ok?" He seems worried, I guess he's not used to having someone else look after me whilst I'm like this.

"I'm better, I just wanted to tell you that Mom and Dad said they love you" If I said this to anyone else's they'd think I was going mad, well. More mad shall I say.

"You have a dream again?" He asks, and I know by his voice he's smiling down the other end of the phone.

"Sure did"

"So that's why you feel better"

"Mmmhmm. I need to go, making Justin pancakes. I love you"

"Love you too"