hidden life - septiplier

○the mask breaks○

Jacks pov.

I run out of marks house crying. I didn't want him to see me cry, as far as he knows, I'm stone cold. When i get home I run to the bathroom. I've just earned myself another few cuts, for leaving and being so rude. I grabbed the razor yet again and made around 4 cuts in my arm. I wrapped my arm in a piece of white cloth because we can't afford bandages.

Then I let myself fully break down, I cry and cry on the floor, until I can't breathe.
My crush knows.
How much of a freak I really am.
He dosent know about me starving myself though.
He is probably scared of me now.
Welp.
I might as well just be myself.
I'll just be me.
I'll be Irish.
I'll be emo.
I'll be sad.
I don't care about hiding my emotions anymore.

I get up and decide to take a walk to cool down, so I decide to go to some abandoned park that's nearby my house. I sit myself down on the rusty swing and just stare blankly at the floor.
"Its not fair," i mumble before I broke down in tears again.

Wade's pov

I saw posh boy on the park. I knew he'd break. He was crying into his hands, what a emo. I walk up to him and say "Hey fag, you finaly broke like a bitch," he jolted around. "Go away,"
"Aww you crying like a little baby, why don't you just go kill yourself," i chuckled and he got up and walked away. "Heh what a pussy," i mumbled under my breath. Fuck him. I hope he dies.

Jacks pov.

Maybe I should kill myself. I mean my mum could do without the dead weight. And I've already screwed things up with mark. About that, I should say sorry. I decided to message him through Facebook.

Me: sorry. You didn't deserve to see that.

I got a reply almost immediately.

Mark: Jack don't be. I actually really want to talk to you. Can you meet me near the Leafield coffee shop.

Me: yeah sure.

What've I got to loose. I meant if he just wants to target me, I get it, I'm not welcome any more. I start to walk to the shop and I see him stood outside, i go near him and his eyes bolt to me. "Jack im so sorry," he embraced me in a tight hug. He pulled away and we found a table in the cafe. "Are you getting anything?"
Can't afford it
"No I'm not that hungry,"
Mark nodded and got a coffee, shit. I just realised I gotta get to work in half an hour. "So I'm um kinda wondering... do you maybe wanna come to my house more often?"
"Oh yeah sure. That'd be cool, I gotta get going though"
"Oh okay. Bye I guess I'll see you at school then,"
I hated to leave so abruptly but I had to, I couldn't afford to be late, I couldn't afford anything. I ran to my house and tried to pat down my hair as i got my uniform on. My boss was nice and she knows about my scars and let's me wear a long sleeve under shirt. We're actually good friends, you see she owns the book shop. It's only small but it's got some amazing books in there, and yes, I'm slowly eating my way through all the books in there. I'm a huge book worm. That's probably the biggest reason why I have such a wide vocabulary. I start walking to the shop trying not to bump into Tyler and wade on the way.
Luckily I didn't and i pushed the door open as a bell rang through the empty shop.
"Hey sean, how's life treatin ya," Amy, my boss called out. She knows that I'm poor and we often make jokes so I'm fine with it. She also knows my real name because she's my boss, duh "Peachy." I reply sarcastically as i take a seat behind the desk. She comes out with a pile of books in her hands and plops them on the desk for me to put on the shelfs. She takes my seat as i get up and i give her a squint before picking up the first book. "So, anything cool happen the past few,"
"Nah not much. Oh. I was chosen to do a project with mark Fischbach," she was on the verge of fangirling because she know about my little (big) crush "omaggaawwdd! How'd it go then, I presume you went to his,"
I nodded. "Yeah but after a few minutes he wanted to put some music on so I handed him my phone and he ended going into my emo playlist, then he got suspicious, then he wanted to see my wrists, then I had to show him, and yeah. If you don't call that eventful then I don't know what you are,"
"Ohmy are you okay, he didn't say anything mean? If he did I'll throw the geometry books at him. They are literally 1000kg," i chuckled. "No actually he said that he wants to hang out more. I thought he hated me but I guess I was wrong. I still don't fully trust him though," she nodded in approval. She was also friends with my mum and she came over to 'babysit' me when my mum has to go out of town. Even though I'm 16 she still dosent trust me. Because of 'problems'. You know what I mean.

I started to get closer to the end of the pile, i sighed in relief as i placed the last book on the shelf. We only open on week days so the weekends are for just refilling the shelfs. I put my coat on and said goodbye to Amy and started to walk home. It was a beautiful night and the stars were shining brightly in the sky. I breathed in the fresh night air and started to near my house. My mum should be home. I walked in and my mum was reading a book I brought home for her. I decided to sneak up behind her and scare her. I placed a hand on her shoulder.
"OH MY LORD! Oh. Bloody hell I jumped outa my shoes then," she said shaping my arm playfully. I laughed and started to make some hot chocolate. I made one for my mum and handed it to her as she said her thank you.

It's her birthday on Thursday. I'm going to save up some money to get her a slice of cake. One slice costs around £4 so u can afford one for me and her. I've been doing extra hours at the loading place so I can afford a special gift aswell as the cake. She's going to be 50 this year so it has to be special. I'll have a look in town tomorrow. I've saved up around £650 so it should be enough. By the way I live in Bolton, england (hey thats where i live, yay. I'm northern and proud)and it's really nice here. After I finish my drink I tell my mum that ive already ate and head off to bed. I lay on my bed and think.
Tomorrow's Monday.
No getting out of it.
Shit shit shit.
They're just gonna say mean things.
And push me down.
I try not to let it phase me but every time it happens I feel an inch closer to breaking down.
I'm weak.
I'm tired.

A tear slipped out as I closed my eyes to sleep.
Tomorrow is going to be eventful.
I know it.

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Sorry
Its taken so long to put together this chapter but I got it out. Hopefully it's good.