Insecurities |Book 1/3|

2|First Lady|

Vada Jewel Jones

After I got home from game stop, I was scared shitless. Brasi ran and snitched like a bitch. As soon as Darren came in contact with me, I was a goner.

"So you got niggas around my sons!" He yelled in anger.

"Its not even like that." I said as I watched Brasi smile in joy and Kenny run in fear,tears rushing down his face.

"Then what is it like! You tryna leave baby girl?"He growled at me, Kendra not to far behind.

"No,Im not I was trying to get home quickly and the nigga was holding me up. You doing to damn muc-." I was cut off by a hard slap to my cheek, making me hiss in pain.

"Bitch you not here to disrespect me! Ight. You hear to cook and clean. You keep pushing my limits Ima fuck yo ass.Literally! Only thing you need is a lil dick in ya life."He chuckled and I let the tears fall. Knowing Darren, he prolly did think about raping me. But my age probably is whats stopping him. When I turn 18, he go try. I pray im out of here by then.

"Now take yo fat ass in there and make me a meal, bitch." He said after he sent another hit to my face.

I picked my head up with pride and managed to make it to the kitchen. I began to start dinner. My life literally sucks. The tears began to build up but I wouldn't dare let them fall. I know Im ugly. I know Im worthless. I wish I could just die.

I cooked like it was thanksgiving, setting the table. One thing about meals, I can cook them but I cant eat them. Darren gives me the smallest things with the highest calories so I gain weight. I have no choice but to eat it.

"Sissy." Kenny whispered and I looked over at him.

"Yes." I said, as it was just the 2 of us in the dining room.

"Im sorry." I rotated my neck in his direction.

"Sorry? You didn't do anything Kenny." I assured him.

"And thats the bad thing about it. I can't save you from that bad man." He let a tear roll and I rushed next to him.

"I know baby. But Ima be good. You just keep doing good in school. You do that and I'll be okay." I smiled and wiped his tears.

"Scouts Honor?" He asked as he put his right hand in the air.

"Scouts Honor." I weakly smiled as I mocked him, he put his hand on the bruise Darren left on my face.

"I love you sissy."

"I love you too." I hugged him.

That night ended with a family feast as I sat on the hard couch, mentally lost. After everyone ate, I cleaned up the house and went back to the couch to sleep. I pulled out my phone and I was getting an incoming call from Lawrence.

"Hello?" I asked in a soft tone.

"Vada?" He asked in a husky fragment.

"Yes." I giggled.

"What yo fine ass doing?" I blushed as if he was right infront of me.

"Laying down. What you doing? I asked as I ignored his complement.

"Thinking bout you."

"Oh really?" I was bout bright red. Ya see, I never had an actual boyfriend but I did have sex before. I was in the moment of being drunk by accident. And I kinda leaned towards one of my ex-foster brother's friends.

Ya get it? See I've been in about 3 different foster homes before this one and I was removed from all of them because I would try to run away. Only reason I slept with dude is because I thought I needed the sex to make me feel like I matter to someone. But the next day after I gave the barley known nigga my virginity, I never heard from him again.