Insecurities |Book 1/3|

13|Real Hitta|

Vada Jewel Jones

10 Minutes Earlier!

I swayed my hips side to side as I pulled my trench coat off of me, and I tossed it to the side. The song, Lay You Down by K.Young played. Dime did the same as she began to drop low and poke her ass out. I was quite nervous but then again, I never had this many people looking at me and giving me so much attention. Is this what I been looking for?

I unhooked my top as it fell to the ground. The crowd went wild and money began to fall even harder. Im kinda liking this.

We were on stage for about 40 minutes total. Then these other strippers tossed us bags and we collected all the money that was thrown. We were gonna split even.

We got the bags of money and headed back to the dressing room.

"Oh my gosh girl! You a pro! We made hella money omg!" Dime yelled, handing me a shot of Henny.

I took the shot as she began to chug the whole bottle. I wiped the make up off my neck, my skin began to feel weird cause my skin so sensitive. Anyways, I poured the bags of money in the corner and I started counting, using the money counter.

After about 10 minutes of counting I got the total of 80 thousand. So I stuffed 40 thousand in a bag and tossed it to her and I put my half in a book bag and into my locker.

"Cuban!" I heard someone yell my name.

"Im right here, wassup?" I said out as Trina, the stripper said coming into contact.

"Um, its this guy that requested you for a private room. He offering 5 thousand." She said.

"Dime, you hear this!" I said.

"Girl yes, you better go." She said, drunk as fuck.

"Do I gotta fuck him?" I asked softly.

"Bitchhh we is strippers, not prostitutes. No! Just put on a show mami. If you feel uncomfortable, or he try to force himself on you, run for ya life." She said as she wobbled and ranted.

"But I mean if you wanna give nookie the cookie then gone ahead." She died laughing.

"You is a mess , anyways Trina - what room is it?"

"Ummm 733. Hurry!" She said.

I looked in the mirror, I combed my hair and put on some lipgloss. I put my trench coat back on and made my way out into the main hall.

As I walked threw the crowed , people kept asking for dances and trying to touch me so I just walked faster until I reached the private room guards.

"733." I said and he lead me to the door.

I walked into the room that had a black couch, a small bar, rose petals everywhere and the sound of the dj and soft music playing.

I made my way towards the couch and there sat, Kai'jai. I was quite excited to see him but im not go let him know that.

"Kai'Jai?" I said walking over to him.

"Vada." He repeated.

"What do you want? Cause if you want a dance, you can most def get a different stripper." I asked.

"I just wanna talk ma. Thats all." He pleaded and I sat beside him.

"Talk." I said, tying my coat.

"Look, I just wanna know why man. Why you stripping? Why you in this predicament? Where is Lawrence? And ya foster family? Do you remember what you promised me!" He ranted.

"DAMMIT , I know what Im doing not the best but I gotta do what I gotta do! I dont question you bout the drugs you slang do I! Lawrence got me, we good aight? And fuck them. Little do you know, that so called family beat me EVERYDAY! Lawrence loves me ight. He took me in, gave me a house and a job. And yes I remember what I promised you but I messed up, Im playing the cards I was dealt. I cant change shit now!" I yelled, as the tear rushed. I honestly needed to vent. I've missed my bestfriend.

Kai'Jai got between my legs and looked me in my eyes.

"Look, im sorry for yelling but answer these 2 questions for me, Why didnt you tell me?" He asked softly.

"I wanna be strong. I dont wanna seem insecure. I can handle this." I said strongly, wiping my tears.

"Look, I'll do anything for you Vada. Im here. I was you at a point of time,but you gotta realize this aint the life you should be living." He said, kissing my tears away.

"What was the other question?" I changed the subject,scooting away from him.

"What are these bruises around your neck?" He asked hesitantly.

I shivered a bit, thinking about the moment me and Lj shared as he almost took my life by almost crushing my throat.

"Oh, nothing these are old." I said softly.

He reached his hand around me and looked the bruises over to see if im lying, I flinched out of reflex.

"These look pretty damn new Vada, Ima kill Lawrence and why is you flinching? I would never hurt you." He growled. I quickly got up.

"Look, Im good Kai'Jai, thanks for trying to show me sympathy but didn't you try to take advantage me that night of the club? Lawrence will never hurt me. He helped me when I ran away, Got me together and he treats me like a queen. Im in love, can you except that?" I said as I could see hurt and anger in his eyes.

Kai'Jai Desean Monroe

I looked her in her eyes as she explained herself. Im actually hurt that she says she loves this nigga, yet I can see that he did those bruises.

Just like the time I found her at the park and she had the side effects of crack. He really breaking this girl down. But if she happy, I won't harm him. That will make her hate me and I dont want that.

I feel like I tried everything I could.

"Well since you love him so much, he should love you back right? cause when you love someone, you supposed to tell the truth. And obviously he lied to you, i would never try to take advantage of you. But since you wanna be blinded by the money, lies, stardom, and drugs. I hope you enjoy dealing with the bullshit cause honestly Vada I got feelings that I can't seem to get over but I can see that you dont love yo self enough to get yo shit together so how can I even show you that I love you? Im over this whole thang. Bye ma." I said as I picked up the 5 thousand I had on the table for her.

I made it rain over her head as she looked dumbfounded. I grabbed my book bag and dipped.

I can't help nobody that cant help themselves.

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A/N: AYE! One more chapter then ima go to Book 2! Comment thoughts please . Yall havent been commenting lately, should I stop updating so fast?! But how yall feel? What should happen next?