Collection of the dark days

Cold fire

I hate it when this happens 
Images so many Images 
Whizzing around my head
Pinging off the sides 
I get glimpses 
Rain
Swings 
Books 
Wardrobe 
Room after room 
Bedroom
Classroom
Library
School hall
I don't know if they're memories or not 
They're just there
Sounds too 
Crying 
Laughing 
Speech 
But I can never tell what they say 
It's just white noise
Then there's the screams 
They chill my veins 
Tearing through my body like cold fire 
So painful I'm numb 
Sometimes, I find I scream too 
All I see is red
Blood
My blood 
On my arms 
On the knife
Crimson red droplets on my porcelain white sink 
I can breathe when I bleed