Seriously, WHAT'S HOT? [√]

Chapter 11 - How to wedge a large object in a small hole

Chapter 11 - How to wedge a large object in a small hole.

“And this darlings is my humble abode!”  Serenity breezed into the living room with all the flamboyance of Dame Edna Everage. 

“Serenity,” Loyal growled as his fist curled until his knuckles were white, “What the Hell is going on!”

“Loyal, sweety!  Everyone, this is my brother Loyal,” she spoke slowly like she was addressing a room of five year olds, “Loyal, say hello to everyone out there in TV land!”

Loyal stared into the camera that was balanced on some guys shoulder.  Behind him stood a couple of guys holding long poles with lights and one guy who wore headphones and held a long rod with what looked like a dead hamster impaled on it.  Loyal had the sudden urge to grab this scruffy rodent corpse which dangled just above his head and bury it deeply in a place that would cause the man some discomfort.

“We’re live,” Serenity mumbled in a singsong voice while trying hard not to more her lips.

Loyal clenched his jaw knowing that if he dared to say anything it wouldn’t be good.  None of this was good and it couldn’t have happened at a worse time.  Hell and more people were piling into the house as he watched.  Damn Serenity! 

“How sweet, he has stage fright!  Don’t worry viewers he will loosen up over the week.”

“Week?” Loyal hissed through his now grinding teeth.

“Well, you know, there abouts,” Serenity shrugged.

“We need to talk, now!” Loyal grabbed Serenity by the arm and dragged her away from the camera which unfortunately didn’t take the hint and followed them, “In private!”

“Loyal!  Really viewers he’s not usually like this at all, Loyal!”

“Serenity, what have you done?” then he turned to the camera and snarled, “Get that thing out of my face or you’ll find out exactly how wide your wide angled lens is!

“They can’t Loyal.  They have to follow me around otherwise it wouldn’t be reality TV now would it?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Top Dog!  I sold the idea to a TV executive and they started filming an hour ago!  Isn’t it exciting!” she hissed through her perfect teeth and broad grin, and her manicured hands almost clapped together under her chin. 

“You what?” Loyal looked at her like she had just confessed to murder.

“Isn’t it great!  The big finale will be at our party!  And it’s going to bring in bucket loads for Mum’s charity!”

“You did what?”

“Of course, having a camera crew on me all the time will be exhausting but we all have to do our best don’t we?”

“You did what?”

“And we will still get all the profits from the voting and some share in the merchandising...”

“You did what?” Loyal yelled causing Serenity to pause and actually notice him.

“Serenity,” Harley and Davidson edged over with big cheesy grins on their faces, “Can we be on your show?  We could compete as twins.  And when we win you could have as both.”

Serenity frowned as she looked them up and down then shrugged, “Sure why not.” 

“Hang on,” a low voice growled from the shadows, “Where is this broadcasting?  Turn off that thing!  I refuse to give you consent to public broadcast my image.”