Seriously, WHAT'S HOT? [√]

Chapter 26 - F=Freaking, B=Bloody, I=Inconvenient

Chapter 26 - F=Freaking, B=Bloody, I=Inconvenient

“Nice costume!” someone from the crowd yelled out at Jake who was still standing in the middle of Serenity’s set, “Now get the hell out of the way!”

“What does FBI stand for?  Freaking Bloody Idiot?”

“Feel my Bone’s Inches?”

“Free Beef Insert here?”

“Flog-me, Bind-me, Impale-me?”

“Fcuking Bitch gave-me-the Itches!”

Jake glared at the laughing crowd in their costumes.  It shouldn’t have bothered him that they were rolling around in hysterics at his expense.  In fact a lot of things shouldn’t have bothered him tonight.  His fingers curled as they fought his control.  His sidearm was loaded and one shot would be all it would take to silence these idiots.

“Look he’s got a friend, Inject Ramming Screw!”

“And the other guy wants us to Donate Ejaculation into his Ass!”

“Look the twins are Addicted To Fcuking!  Who are you ATF? Each other?”

Jake glanced at Sam in his IRS vest, Alex who had DEA emblazed on his chest and Harley and Davidson with their ATF insignia.  They all looked just as pissed off as he was.  It was time he took control of this situation.

“They are superhero’s!” Some guy yelled out just as Jake raised his hands, “Fast Bang Immediate-release Man, Diseased Equipment Action-man, Instant Raw Scrotum guy, and the Atomic Testicle Friends!  

“They are all wearing matching bibs!  Maybe they came as a netball team!  They aren’t coming anywhere near my balls!”

“Yeah, they’re sporting positions - Front Bits Interception, Defensive End Assault, Inside Rear Side, and Attack Thrust Forwards!”

 “I’m from the Federal Bureau of Investigation and this is a raid!” Jake held up his badge, “The house is surrounded.”

 “Do you have big weapons? Show us your guns!” a girl giggled.

“Look he’s made a badge out of tin foil - bless!”

“Serenity throws the best parties!  First the fake wedding now this! Sweet!”

Jake felt his hand creeping again towards his firearm but then caught Harley’s look.  It probably wasn’t the best idea to breach agency weapons protocol in front of two investigators of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms.  He reclaimed his hand and ground his teeth instead.

“This is a real badge, I am really an FBI agent, and this is a real bust!  Do not panic.  There are agents ready to take your statements and your details.”

“You’re hot!” one of the cheerleaders purred, “I’ll give you my details personally, very close and very personally.” 

“I like the blonde DEA one!” another girl yelled out, “His little agent can take my statement! I’ll be the one screaming as he takes it!”

“I’m calling dibs on the IRS one!”

“I saw him first!”

“We want the matching pair of ATF guys!” a group of five girls who were all dressed identically as girl scouts shouted out. “We’ll teach them how to tie knots!  We need our BDSM badge!”

“I love a man in uniform!”

“You’re hogging all the girl action.  The football team wear uniforms too!  And our weapons are bigger and tougher than the plastic pistols you’re packing!”