A Cornish Affair

The Guilty Get No Sleep

Having driven around the corner, Ricky pulled in to the kerb abruptly, slamming his hands on the steering wheel. He sighed heavily, thoughts swirling round in his head. Rosie was right. He didn't need all this. But he reminded himself that he'd known almost from the beginning she was engaged, yet she was still a woman that he needed to pursue. He had made the choice. He had to accept the problems that came with it. But that was of no help to him now, this minute. Putting the car into gear, he pulled out and headed back home.

Rosie had got changed. By the time Lee had emerged from the shower, she was back into her usual jeans and a blouse she liked to where. Her high-heeled shoes were stored back in their box for another time and she'd hung the dress back up in the wardrobe.

"I'm glad you've changed. You looked a bit over dressed," Lee commented as he dried himself and grabbed a tshirt from the ones he kept at Rosie's. How different his thoughts were to Ricky's!

Not wanting Lee to see how upset she was, Rosie quickly made her excuses and went downstairs.

She felt numb. She didn't want to spend an evening with Lee. She wanted to be with Ricky. How could this be happening? All the nights she spent alone. All the evenings she had no one, yet tonight, there were two. Two men both vying for her attention. Her stomach turned and she felt sick.

"You ready?" Lee asked, appearing next to her as she sat at the dining table.

"I'm not feeling too good actually Lee," she said, putting her own hand to her forehead. "I think I'll stay here. Why don't you ring Mike?"

"No way. It's all about us tonight. Thought we might talk about the house. I've been thinking. I wanted to discuss some things with you. Come on Rose. You'll feel fine after a drink."

She looked up at him. He was giving her his puppy dog eyes. Rosie sighed. He wasn't going to give up. The evening would surely go quicker if they were out.

"Ok, but shall we just go to the restaurant?" Rosie asked, really not in the mood for drinking.

"Noooo, you need a few drinks inside you, lighten you up a bit." He grabbed her hand and pulled her up. He kissed her and she half-heartedly kissed him back. "That's better. Come on, the beers are calling!"

If she'd never had met Ricky, Rosie would have seen the night she'd spent with Lee as pretty perfect. But as she had, every minute was spent with just a hint of resentment.

They talked. Made tentative plans. Even spoke about their weekend away, settling on Manchester as their destination; there was a gig Lee really fancied going to. But Rosie felt like a fake the whole time. Her whole life seemed like a complete lie at the moment, despite that she hadn't done anything. Who was she kidding? She'd kissed Ricky. That was it though, so far. But that was wrong in itself! She was guilty of cheating on Lee and quite honestly, she was happy to do it again.

Getting home, Rosie could honestly say she'd felt the alcohol that she'd had. Lee had to help her in the door even when they got home. But being drunk had helped her get through the love she'd had to show towards Lee in bed. She didn't want him to think anything was different to usual. Another lie.

As he'd turned his back to her in bed and begun snoring instantly, Rosie was on her phone, which Lee had retrieved from the bookcase. She texted Ricky, not thinking of the time.

I'm so so so sorry. I will understand if you never want to see me ever again. Xxx Sorry, really sorry.  This is Rosie by the way.

In her haste to text, Rosie had forgotten to put her phone on silent. The notification rang out loud and clear, as Rosie gritted her teeth in fear Lee would wake up and saw Ricky had replied immediately.