Just breathe

Just breathe Chapter 4

Chapter 4 ~ Sarah

I was the pretty one, I was the smart one with the fabulous boyfriend…Now, what am I?

Alone is what I am, I’m pacing back and forth deciding whether to call Macey or not. I know they will be looking for me, but I just hadn’t made up my mind, with what I’m going to do or how to handle this. I finally made up my mind to call Macey, I know she will be worried, I know I said I would always be there…But she has to understand…Right?

"Hello?" Macey said, she knew it was me she just wanted me to say I'm ok I'm fine.

"Hey Mace.. It’s Sarah... Look the reason why I called was I need you to meet me somewhere ." I said at the same time I was regretting to do this, but I needed to tell them. The truth always comes out. Its better to deal with this now.

 "Ok well where do you want to me but um first of all where are you?" She asked impatiently.

"In Florida ... At Palm Island Beach.. Is Jake with you?”

"Well yes he is, But nearly wasn't a few minutes ago." She remarked.

"What do you mean almost wasn't? What the hell happened?!" I am now completely terrified.

"Well Jake and I came looking for you and he said you'd be at Palm Island, so as we were driving he past B4 and we argued about passing the sign then some way we crashed." Macey said with no tone or emotion.

"Y-you mean if I didn't ... r-run away you wouldn't h-have crashed?" Now I feel even more terrible then I ever had before. I reached the ultimate low.

"It's not your fault , Jake and I-"

"Don't say it wasn't, I know it was my fault. Macey oh my god I’m so sorry.. " I interrupted, once I processed this…I cried.

"Don't cry Sarah .. No one was hurt it was an accident.. calm down.. Just breathe."

I tried to pull myself to answer that question but all I could make out was "Put J-Jake on the phone." This was the moment of truth.

"Oh my god Sarah, where are you? I'll come get you.. Just eh.. Name the place and I’ll be there in seco-" Jake started.

"You can you'll hate me." I stopped him, I can’t tell him over the phone, I’ll wait till he meets me.

"I could never hate you Sarah.. I love y-"

"Don't say that." I stopped him again.

"Why .. I do love you.” Great I just ruined the greatest relationship I ever had.

"I'm so sorry Jake.." I said in a whisper "Tell Macey I love her and I’ll be waiting.." I was trying my hardest to keep back the tears.

"Ok ... But Sarah I lo-"

I couldn't hear the rest because I didn't deserve it.. How could I be so stupid to mess this up.. Jake was perfect. I hung up the phone and slipped it back in my pocket. I paced back and forth thinking about Jake and how I had betrayed him…It all started Saturday night, the night I ruined my life, well not just mine anymore.

There was this awesome party that was going to be at one of the popular rich girl named Jenifer Aisle . At the time I was grounded for sneaking out with Jake last week. So I asked Macey to keep mom and dad away from my room so I could go to the party.

I got a ride from my best friend Hannah who was going to, she was wild and out going.. Any party there was she had to go.

We arrived at the big Aisle house, that was a mansion. White brick’s surrounded the place, if you looked closely you could see carved pictures and Roman language. There was a huge pool in the back with multi-color lights in them.

We could hear everyone screaming and having a great time. We pulled in the driveway, but there was no where to park, so Hannah parked across the street.

The music was loud. It keep my ears ringing. Since this was my first party, without Jake, and without any one else I knew. I stuck with Hannah.

Hannah was having beer , so she gave me some and I hated the first taste of it, but Hannah reinsured that it got better the more you drank. I drank and drank then got drunk.

After looking back on what I did, I regret it, I wish I would have stayed home, gone to sleep and still have Jake and my family.

After a few hours in the party, I saw Jeremy , Jeremy is Jake's brother same age but different personalities and defiantly different look's Jeremy has more of a muscular look then Jake and Jeremy had a dirty blonde hair color and deep brown eyes.

Jake told me that they were born at the same time, they weren’t twins though. I met Jeremy a couple of times before, but I didn’t notice him like I did tonight. He is Jefferson's Quarter back for 3 years running, he was the hottest must be with guy out of the whole school. He came over to me, and we started talking , before I knew it we were kissing and kissing led to much more.

I stopped making my self feel worse, I stopped thinking about Jeremy. Every time I thought about Jake or Jeremy my stomach flipped. I felt dirty, like a slut.

I’m still pacing in the bathroom at Palm Island Beach the only sound was the water dripping from the tap, the walls were painted blue.. There was this ocean theme with plastic fish on the wall and bubble stickers. The counter was beige or like a sand color and with the mirrors on the wall there was seaweed glued on the mirror to make it look more like a beach theme.

The timer on my phone had gone off, I was nervous to look, I didn’t want to look. I crouched down to the level of the counter. I had my eyes closed I didn’t want to look at my fate or destiny I had planned out over a pregnancy test.

I took a deep breath trying to relax.

Just breathe.

Told myself. Just breathe.

I gained some strength and I opened one eye, I gasped . I knew my fate now, this little blue strip that was in front of me screwed my life. I was pregnant and I couldn’t stop it, I couldn’t control it. I took the test in my hand, looking at it carefully making sure it was right.

I pushed my self against the sinks and slid down to the floor, I took the test and threw it at the wall in frustration.

 I didn’t want this, I never did. I cried silently wishing someone was here with me, holding me telling me that it was going to be all right, but I knew it wouldn’t be alright.