The Macabre ➸ Psycho C.R.

《31》

Another god-awful chapter. I'm gonna experiment setting this out differently... Hopefully you get it

_

It's dark.
Still.
I'm trying...I really am, but there's no light. None.

To some extent, it's peaceful. There...isn't anything to worry about, yet I don't think I'm ready. I don't actually think I want my life to end. Not like this.

-Chandler-

"Christ." I murmered, wiping the water off of my face with a hand towel. I blinked hard, trying to make my bloodshot eyes less blurry. Lack of sleep isn't normally a problem for me, but all of a sudden it seems as though I've had my eyes forced open for endless hours.

I'm exhausted.

I rubbed my hand along my jawline, frowning at the stubble scattered over it. I need to shave.

I stretched my arms upwards, and then opened the small cabinet by the mirror, taking out the dollar store razor and crappy travel can of shaving foam I got from the hospital reception.
Filling up the sink with warm water, I threw back on my navy t-shirt, and yawned, rubbing my eyes again.

Putting the foam on my chin, I dipped the razor in the water and began to glide it over the foam, repeating until most of it was gone. As I shaved over the last bit of foam, my hand slipped as a sharp pain shot through my calf where the bullet hole was healing. I winced at both the pain from my leg and the fresh cut on my jaw, chucking the razor on the floor in frustration.

Turning to see where the razor went, I walked out of the open bathroom door, looking at the hospital bed with Darcie laying in it. Ignoring the blood dripping from my chin, I looked around again for the razor, only to see that the sharp head of it had broken off of the handle. The silver blade stuck out slightly, creating a split in the black plastic of the holder.

I crouched slowly, shakily picking up the blade in one hand and the handle, and holder in the other, before tilting my head back to the bed.

I fazed out, not looking at anything in particular, but instead listening to the droning bleeps coming from the heart rate monitor. They were slow, tediously slow, and were becoming somewhat painful; each bleep a reminder of how I got this girl... this innocent girl caught up in all of this. How I treated her like shit from the start. Abused her. Used her against me as some sort of coping mechanism.
Now she's dying.

My sore eyes began to cloud over with tears as I continued to listen. I didn't even blink. I felt my hands form fists in anger, the broken razor still shared amongst both, and they began to shake.

I felt the skin of my left hand split, and blood began to seep from my fist as I began to breathe louder, still staring.

"I know it's my fault." I whispered as a group of tears fell from my eyes.

"Stop." I pleaded, louder this time, attempting to choke back a sob.

"PLEASE JUST FUCKING STOP." I screamed towards the monitor, falling fully to my knees, dropping the razor and bits of plastic from my bloodied hands.
I cried. Sobbed. Spit escaped my mouth and snot from my nose as my body trembled, overcome by emotion.

As my loud cries eventually faded into silent sobs, I noticed the monitor bleeps had sped up. It was hardly noticeable, but still to some point.

Pushing myself unsteadily off of the floor with my uncut hand, I sniffed, trying to stop more tears from falling. I began to walk over to the bed, wiping my eyes on my shoulders.

"This should be me." I spoke quietly, looking at Darcie's emotionless face, as her chest mechanically rose and fell. "You...you didn't deserve any of this. You didn't deserve me- the way I treated you. What happened to you. None of it." I sat gingerly on the edge of the bed, eventually swivelling around, laying next to Darcie.

"You've got to wake up." I faced her, frowning slightly. "You've got to. So I can make things right. Or at least try to."

I looked at the freckles which were dotted over her nose. Scratches covered her face- scars from the past could be seen too.

"We can...we can escape this shitty reality. Change the way we look. Not too much, mind you. You're too beautiful to change." I let out a breathy laugh, moving my hand to hers, clutching her thumb so that her fingers rested on the back of my less bloody hand.

"I'm...gonna draw out every cent I own, and get us the hell away from here. I'll get help. We can try to live as normally as we can."

Closing my stinging eyes, I rested my head against her shoulder. "You can choose where we go. I don't care."

My eyes rapidly opened as I felt a movement on my hand. The hand which Darcie's was resting on. I pushed myself up a little, and stared at our hands for several seconds. Nothing. Must've imagined it.

I didn't. Darcie's thumb nail lightly scraped the palm of my hand, and I squeezed back.
"Darce." I muttered, turning to look at her face which still looked the same as before.

Looking back at the hands, I noticed her little finger twitching. Then it slowly began to move across the back of my hand. A small arrow shape was drawn onto my hand, and I furrowed my eyebrows. "What?" I whispered.
Then I got it, as she continued.

"A. A what?" She added another letter. "L." Then another "A. Again? I don't..." I turned to her face again. Her eyebrows were slightly furrowed. Almost as though she was concentrating on something. "S"
"K"
"A"

I muttered the letters to myself for a few seconds. "Alaska?" I turned my head towards her face again. "Darcie? Is...is that where you want to go?" I said, hopefully. My eyes watered again.

Then, again there was nothing. My small smile disappeared and I let go of her hand. I faced the ceiling again, frustrated and remained that way for about ten minutes.

"I've...always w...wanted to go to Alaska." I almost fell off of the side of the bed as I heard a raspy, almost inaudible whisper from beside me.

Her eyes were still closed, but she definitely spoke. Grabbing her hand again, I reached for the assistance button above the bed, disrupting the continuous bleeping coming from the heartrate monitor.

___

Boy oh boy was that rubbish and cliché and all sorts of n0pe.
I'm back, lads, whether you're here or not. Sorry for the slow chapter, but I'm really going to get this started again.
Much love :))