My American Love

Chapter 14: Membership

‪After work, I honestly don't have the energy to date or go out. I spend so much time focusing all my energy on work, that I forget completely about trying to have a dating and commitments. I'm always exhausted.‬ I love my job. It's my baby. Its the only commitment I have. But sometimes, it can be stressful and not fun. I take my mistakes and my fuck ups to heart, and when stressful situations happen, I can barely pick up my head I'm so mentally exhausted from it all.‬ Tapos dunagdag pa si Jess. Kaya para mabawasan ang stress ko I went straight to gym. Hindi ko na i-re-renew ang membership ko for the next month at lilipat ng gym. I don't want to be around Jesse professing his feelings, is not only ridiculous, it's also self-destructive. It's a surefire way to make us feel awkward me for having to turn him down and hurt his feelings.

I'm feeling like shit because I stupidly ruined a friendship that could have gone on for many more years of letting le bon temps roulé. Well... we both ruined the friendship. I can't be with Jesse if I know he have feelings for him. Ayoko siyang paasahin, at bilang kaibigan ayoko siyang saktan. And he knows me since I immigrated here so I don't understand. He knows why. He knows my reasons.

"Belle?"

"Geoff? Are you a member of this gym?" I was surprised when I saw Geoff, he's sweating holding his Gatorade, he nodded. "I want to join a membership."

"Why?"

"I canceled renewing my membership sa dati kong gym, I'm flat-out tired of wondering if Jesse secretly undressing me with his eyes or how many times he's mind-fucked me in the past hour."

He smirk.

After I joined the membership I started my work out. I'm wearing my yoga pants and sports bra.

"Hi Belle."

I look at my side, "Tahoe guy."

"Tahoe guy?" He asked.

"I didn't have the chance to know your name."

He's that guy from Tahoe that I flirted with for house na biglang nawala.

"Liam."

We worked out together. Geoff was in the lifting area and were in the machines. And just like in Tahoe. Ang sarap niyang kausap. We talk about him. Because we didn't really had the chance to go deeper with our 'talk' because we go straight to flirting. He's a promoter. He even invite m to party. He's like my gym body for an hour when I decided to go home to rest and get ready to party tonight. Kanina pa umalis si Geoff, I'm sure he's been working out for hours bago pa ko dumating. Hindi ko tuloy siya napanood mag flex ng muscles niya. Sayang bes!

I'm on my way to the club, Liam invited me to go clubbing. Yes, clubbing. I'm underage but he said he can help me go through because the bouncer is his friend. I'm wearing a black strapless dress, chocker and pumps. This is my first time clubbing pag nakapasok ako. Dahil usually, house parties at bars lang ako nakakainom.

Bars is okay, chill lang, unlike clubs, wild! Well, house parties is freaking wild too. Pero basta iba pag club eh. Clubbing is almost like going to the zoo so many different kinds of people and crowds.

"Are you sure this will work?" I whispered to his ear.

We're in the line. Yung titignan muna ng bouncer yung get up mo, at yung California I.D mo kung pwede ka na.

"It freaking works!"

"You're welcome." Liam pull my waist with intensity of a black hole. He thinks it's okay to grab me, pull me, and touch me any way he wants. Well, okay lang naman. Dahil sobrang sikip at gulo dito sa loob ng club! I'd rather be pull than push to the floor! Ang taas pa naman ng takong ko.

"Sit here. I'll just say hi to my friends." I nodded.

Nag order na lang ako ng maiinom ko sa bartender bago ko siya sundan ng tingin. He went to his buddies, who is flexing, wearing some skin-tight T that would comfortably fit a six-year-old girl. They  fist-pump while getting really into the music, I even hear them yelling "Brroooooooooo!"

The bartender gave me my margarita, I'm just chilling and watching the crowd going wild and crazy. I crossed my legs. There's a lot in the dance floor who does not care if anyone is watching; they're into the music and isn't going to stop. And there are people who looks really awkward they look like they dragged to the club because one of their friends wanted to go. I feel bad for them because they looks super uncomfortable.

There's a lot of good looking guys too, but how is it possible for a person to not make eye contact with anyone in the room the whole night? How long can you stare at the floor and the walls? I smiled when I thought something flirty in my head. I'll flirt with them good looking guys.

I stand up from sitting to the bar stool when there's a random guy talk to me, "Wanna dance?"

I look at Liam, he's still in the dance floor, I drink the last drop of my margarita, "Sure."

We went to the dance floor, and started to dance, the music was to hype but this guy thinks it's a sexy dance, he just keeps trying to grind on me. Even if I have told him flat-out no, used some bodily force, he still try to grind with me every time as if he has never seen a girl before. He's like a seagull trying to get the Cheetos beside you at the beach.

I grind on him, and the moment he turn around ay nagpakain ako sa crowd. Hindi ko alam pero pakiramdam ko ay may nakatingin sakin. Kanina pa. I don't know what part of the dance floor I am but I felt a lot of guys grinding me from behind. And some are grinding hard to the point na nahuhubaran na ko. Some are drunk, some are wasted, but I don't freaking care.  Pinagkukurot ko sila sa kahit anong parteng makurot ko para makalabas ako, madilim naman eh.

Pag labas ko ng dance floor ay dumiretso ako ng bathroom, ramdam ko pa rin kasi na may nakatingin sakin. Agad akong nag lock sa cubicle at inayos ang strapless dress ko. Habang inaayos ko yung damit ko ay napatigil ako dahil may pumasok ng ng bathroom, parang naghahabulan, pumasok sa katabi kong cubicle at nung sinilip ko ay isang babae at isang lalaki and few seconds later, they started moaning. It was freaking hot.

This club is freaking crazy.

I went outside the bathroom and join the crowd once again, I tried to find Liam but I can't find him. Bumalik na lang ako kung saan niya ko huling nakita at nag order ng bagong inumin. Ramdam ko pa rin na may nakatingin sakin. I'm wearing a dress, I was sitting down, cross and uncrossing my legs because whoever who's looking at me be trying to catch a flash of my underwear. Tingin ng tingin. Edi papalapitin ko. I was drinking when a guy sat beside me, I didn't even look at him. I'm starting to get tipsy, kanina pa ko umiinom dito and still no sign of Liam. Just like from Tahoe. Biglang nawawala. The guy who sat beside me still looking at me when Bed by J. Holiday played. I closed my eyes and lick my lips, I can feel the guy still looking at me and I'm pretty sure he notices how smooth and soft my lips are, I know right now he'll have no choice but to imagine kissing me.

"Hey, can you talk for a second?" I opened my eyes but still not looking at the guy, but I know he's a good looking based in my peripheral vision even if it's dark. I saw him nodded.

I brush my hair down and push it behind my ear. "Great. I have a question for you. Do you want to make out with me?"

He nodded,

"I kind of want to make out with you."