My American Love

Chapter 19: Game

It's Sunday morning and I'm cleaning my apartment while singing and listening to Usher's there's go my baby, volumes up. I'm swaying my hips while sweeping the floor when my eyes went to my Polaroid pictures and saw his picture. I stopped sweeping and walk to the picture and smiled while I touch his face in the picture.

His hands of magic. Great kisser. Very passionate. We are not in love, not committed, not in a relationship but I wouldn't have guessed it from the foreplay. He had the softest, most wonderful skin ever. And he was a really nice and aggressive. I was always surprised at how good he was because I didn't expect that skill level from him.

When suddenly someone knocked on my door like I have a warrant of arrest. I rolled my eyes, its Nicole. Ganyan yan eh. She never used my doorbell. She's always knocking like were in the Philippines.

"Aga naman mambulabog."

She smiled, "Shopping day!"

After I cleaned my apartment we went straight to the Mall. Wala naman kaming trabaho ngayong araw, kaya naman may oras kami magpunta ng mall at mamili. If ever we have an option, online shopping. But we rather, fit it first. The Mall in here is not as big as MOA, or even Mega Mall. Malls here in America only have two-floors and the movie theater is in a different building. We decided to look for dresses and night outfits for my 21th birthday that we will celebrate in Las Vegas.

"I can't wear this. It's too slutty."

I look at Nicole, and look at myself in the mirror. "Wow ha."

We're wearing night dresses. I'm wearing a gold long slit silk dress while Nicole is wearing a black glittering strapless dress.

"But seriously girl, hindi na ko sanay. Some people might think I'm single and ready to have sex."

"How the hell does woman's dress signal her status of sexual availability? It doesn't." I faced her, "I don't see myself being interested having sex in any guy just because I wear mini skirt and dresses. I just want to look good for myself."

She looked at me, "Talaga lang ha?"

I giggleed," Sige na, for other people too. But that doesn't mean I want to have sex because of my dress."

"I just want to look good for Hans. Only for him." She said.

"You look good!" I rolled my eyes, "It just showcased your legs. But you wear it appropriately naman, you still look taken kung yun ang inaalala mo. look at me, look at my dress. I never want to look "slutty" in it, I may be a kinda slut. Not literally, alam mo yan. Malandi lang ako pero hindi ako pokpok. Power to me if I am. But I am not sexually available, like I am no sluttier than my three fingers from my knees slit."

Malandi man ako but there's one thing I have gained as a result being single in years, and that is self respect. Self respect is one of the hardest and most rewarding things to gain and it is also the most easily lost. I have moments where I just feel like letting go and accepting opportunities even when I don't necessarily want them, but as long as I hold on to the self respect that I have fought so hard to earn.

After we brought our dresses we drove back to my apartment because the guys bombarding us with texts that they are outside my apartment complex. Pagdating namin ay nandun nga sila at nakasandal sa kanya kanya nilang mga sasakyan; mga pakboy ng America starter pack.