My American Love

Chapter 7: Cup of Coffee

We're here in a neighborhood on Bay Area, naglalagay kami ni Serina ng door hangers na may open house invitations for the open house next week, its Monday. Mamaya ay magkikita din kami ni George, but for now I'm doing my task. Because we are paid to do this.

"Some girls can be clingy." Serina said.

I told her what happened yesterday, on the gym, Jess was hitting on me. I know. I feel it. Alam mo yun? Yung pag gusto ka nung tao? Pero hindi mo gusto. It's weird and I mean weird and many times very uncomfortable admissions of infatuation have bubbled up from the inner depths of their hearts and oozed through their mouths and into my ears. And yes, that imagery is necessary because the whole process is disgusting to watch and listen to. "I've had feelings for you for a little while now... It's not just that you're beautiful, but also that you just get me," Jess said last night while we're partners lifting on the gym yesterday.

"I like my space, and all I care about is career and gym time. I didn't go to the gym with him to hit on him because if I want something, I make it known and go after it, and I've never sent those signals."

"It doesn't matter he wanna hit on you."

"I don't flirt with my friends."

"Really?"

"Remember? There's a difference between friends you only know and friends you really know, close friends. Jess is one of my close friend." We walk to another house, "I want freedom."

Hindi ko alam. Pag kaibigan ko kasi parang ang awkward para sakin. Ganun ako eh, pag kaibigan, kaibigan lang talaga. Lalo na ang tagal na namin mag kaibigan, he's my friend since the beginning I lived here in America, meron lang talagang mga tao na pag nakilala mo, alam mo na, hanggang kaibigan lang to. After all, who needs romance when the friendship is at an all time high? Not the other kind of high.

"Many guys crave exactly the same freedom. The thing is, you're going to meet a lot of great people along the way people who are also happy, free, confused, and lonely at the same time." Serina said and put the last door hanger she have, "Sharing the stage of your life with someone special can be equally as beneficial, and I've found that most guys want exactly that. Like my Huy, my boyfriend."

"I know what Jess is looking for. He genuinely want to enjoy talking to someone on a daily basis and getting to know another person. He like the comfort of having a cool girl to hang out with, not to mention hook up with regularly." We walk back to our cars, we parked it at the cul-de-Sac "And thinking about Jess and I makes me cringe. Its disgusting."

"I get you, Belle." She laugh.

"If he's not Jess, maybe, yes, but because he's Jess, no. He even told me that I am like the female version of him. Several others declared that too." I rolled my eyes.

Tulad ng sinabi ko, I tried dating but it didn't work out. I don't want commitment. I don't want to settle. I don't to date and after a few months of casually seeing each other, the guy wants more for obvious reasons. Most likely, because she's a human being and doing relationship-like things with me will make him want to be in an actual relationship at some point. That's why I stopped dating. And became and inbetween-ner.

These boys are scared, not just Jess, They're scared of what a possible relationship might change and they're naïve to think that I couldn't be happier than we are right now. In all honesty, I'd like to know when caring about another person became such a negative thing. I care for them, I just wanted to do what was right by them... without actually doing the right thing.