My American Love

Chapter 10: House Party

"What are you doing here?"

"My friend is friends with your friend."

I space out for a moment, losing track of the conversation. It takes a moment for my senses to refocus.

"Where's your friend?"

He shrugged, "I don't know where he is."

Sabi ko kami na lang ang magsama dahil magkakilala naman kami. Yung mga kaibigan ko at kaibigan niya hindi mahagilap at busy sa kani-kanilang business.

Ngayon ko lang din napansin may Hennessy at coke sa sahig at beer pong cups.

"Let's drink?" Tanong niya.

Nag inuman lang kaming dalawa. One on one. Pero hindi tulad ng inuman na lasinginan. Chill na inom lang. Kwentuhan.

His accent.

US English just sounds, well, cooler than all other kinds of English. American accents in all their many variances also sound wonderfully warm and smooth to my ear. Whenever I'm riding the tube and I hear a US twang in among the rabble, my ears perk up.

"What is it your accent just sounds so damn friendly?"

"I am Mr. friendly"

"Okay, Mr. friendly you're still not my friend. You're still George's younger brother."

He just smiled.

I grab the Hennessy and put more in my beer pong cup. Coke at Hennessy. Ang sarap. Nag cheers kami ng mapatingin kami sa pintuan, there are people trying to get in.

"Why did you lock the door?"

"Guys are animals." I said.

"There's no denying it, we are. Since the beginning of time males have fought and died over women. We have primal instincts in our blood and we tend to act on them more then we should."

I looked at him, "What?"

"A great way I can describe this is think of two lions fighting each other, then think of what happens when it's over. One of them got messed up and is leaving the scene, and the other is getting swarmed by a pack of thirsty lion babes trying to get a piece of the winner."

"What he does?"

"He has crazy lion sex with all of them, and doesn't think twice about it. Maybe there's that one he falls for, but he is capable of having almost meaningless sex with these other lionesses. And unfortunately, that's how guys can be sometimes."

I nodded.

Guys are guys.

"We can love and care about someone, but still could have sex with another girl and it means nothing. It's not the proudest of things, but it's a possibility."

"Some girls too." I added.

Tumunog yung cellphone niya. Siguro yung kaibigan niya. Tumayo ako para pumunta ng banyo. Para bigay na din siya ng privacy.

The moment I walk in the hallway alternate eternities are flickering in front of me. I see smiles and laughter mixed with winces and tears, along with emotions too subtle and situational to classify. All these realities, all these possibilities. Together, we could have made some somethings out of nothing.

I closed the toilet bowl and sat down. I close my eyes and trying to get myself together. I know I'm sober but I'm starting to feel drunk. Hindi ko alam kung ilan minuto na kong nakapikit, o ilang oras na kong nakatulog but my sense came back when I hear someone is knocking. But I didn't do anything. Pag binuksan ko ang pinto ay mawawalan ako ng pwesto.

"Belle?"

The door open, It was Jesse. My friend told him that I'm missing that's why he looked for me. He have the keys kaya naman nabuksan niya. Ofcourse he rented this place. I asked him who's friend is that but he just told me a friend of his friend. I smell the weed, alcohol and sweat on Jesse. He's high and he's touchy. But not to the point na hinahawakan niya ako sa maseselan kong bahagi. We are standing in the hallway. I'm resting my back on the wall.

"Why are you in the bathroom?"

"It was vacant, quiet and safe. I can sleep in peace."

"You can sleep in my room, Belle."

I see a glimmer in his eyes, like, the games have begun! when really, for me, the "game" is now over.

"Unsafe." I inevitably reply, "I don't want to date you. I don't want to commit. I don't want to hurt you."

"You don't want to commit? You just don't want the label. You want the perks of a relationship, being with someone all the time, sharing details about the stresses of your day, going out to grab food and drinks, I could go on. Without that damn title."

I look at him, "Jesse, listen, that will never happen. A friend is a friend."

"Friend?" He put his hands on the wall,  "Friends don't kiss."

"It was a freaking dare!"

"Then here's the truth." He kissed me.

I slapped him.

I find no reason to continue arguing over something so banal, Once I know that my guy friend has the hots for me, the times of us kickin' it old school are no more. Our once-pure friendship, based off of a mutual search for the meaning of life and a good ass time, has mutated into "potential conquest" and I see that as the point of no return. I'm upset, but also relieved to have this as an escape route.

I grabbed my Termo-Jacket and walk outside. The air outside cools my lungs, which had been steadily rising in temperature from the muggy air and hedonism inside. I tried to call Nicole, Hans and the twins but no ones answering. They are the most trusted friends I have and they are all not answering. I saw George in my contacts but she have no idea what's going on but Geoff... suddenly a car stopped infringing of me. It was a black two seater benz.