Fresh From Homeworld

Turn Against This Tyranny

     While the Crystal Gems were busy talking with each other, Chrysoberyl pulled Merlinite aside.
     "Merlinite, can we talk?" she asked, pulling on her friend's arm.
     Merlinite was surprised at her friends sudden change of attitude. Just a moment ago they had been having the time of their lives, just enjoying being with the Crystal Gems. But, nevertheless, Merlinite nodded and Chrysoberyl led her outside.
     "What's wrong?" Merlinite asked. "If this is about us laughing about the root beer and us laughing earlier, it was just-"
     "What? Do you think I'm stupid?! Of course this isn't about that!" Chrysoberyl snapped. Merlinite looked taken aback. Chrysoberyl blushed in embarrassment. "I- I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. It's just... never mind. You won't understand," she said quieter. "We can go back in now." She turned to go back up the porch stairs, but Merlinite grabbed her by the shoulder, turning her back around.
     "No," her tone of voice was stern. "Something is not right with you, and I tend to find out what. The Chrysoberyl I know doesn't snap or get angry. That is, unless something's wrong. Please tell me. I want to know."
     "Don't get angry," Chrysoberyl whispered, looking down.
     "What? Why would I get angry? This is so unlike you!" exclaimed Merlinite, confused.
     "I- I can't stay on earth. I'm sorry."
After a few moments of silence, Merlinite asked, "What are you talking about?" She expressed genuine concern on her face. "This is our home now, isn't it?"
"I want it to be. I want it to be so bad," said Chrysoberyl said. "And I love the Crystal Gems. I love Steven. I love the earth. I love living here with you." Though Merlinite couldn't see Chrysoberyl's face, it was obvious that she was crying.
     "I don't understand," said Merlinite. "This planet is perfect. All we could ever want it here. We aren't living under the tyranny of Homeworld anymore!"
     "But others are," whispered Chrysoberyl.
"Oh... oh," Merlinite said in a terrible realization. "You don't... you don't want to go... back... do you?" Her voice was hoarse with fear.
     "Merlinite... I have to." Chrysoberyl went quiet after that, leaving them in silence for a few moments.
    "You can't!" Merlinite exclaimed. "Besides, think about it! Even if you could go back to Homeworld, what then? You're a chrysoberyl! You would be recognized and shattered right away!"
     "I know how to shapeshift! I'm an era 1 chrysoberyl!"
     "Shapeshifting? You really thing that will get you anywhere? You won't be able to have a form like that exceeding five minutes!"
     "I don't care, Merlinite!" Chrysoberyl yelled. "For all I care, you can stay here! Yeah, stay here for the rest of your useless life drinking root beer and spending time with those Crystal Gems! But you know where I'll be! I'm going back to Homeworld, whether you like it or not! I'm actually going to be doing something! The gems on Homeworld don't know! They don't know how they're being used by those diamonds! I'm going to help them. Even if it takes millions of years, you can count on me, every gem in this miserable universe will turn against this tyranny! I don't care if you're not there with me! I can do this on my own! I can... I can- can't. I can't do this by myself! You're my only hope! And trust me, if you don't come, I will still go! But I won't win- how will you feel, Merlinite, knowing about those gems you could've saved, including me? I-" Chrysoberyl cut her rambling off, looking into Merlinite's stunned face. "I- I'm sorry."
She turned and ran. She didn't know where she was going. She didn't care. She could go anywhere, as long as it was away- away from everyone, everything, everywhere. Nobody understood. Peridot came close, Merlinite came close, but no one came close enough to understanding her. Especially understanding what she was going to do.
     Maybe Merlinite was right. Maybe the Crystal Gems were right. Maybe she could stay on earth. But there was one thing she hadn't told anyone. She missed Homeworld. She missed her naivety. Because then, she enjoyed being with Yellow Diamond. She enjoyed her near individuality. She enjoyed Homeworld. But even though she knew now how tyrannical the diamonds and Homeworld really were, she didn't know what to think of them anymore.
     There was still a dull ache in her heart. She missed Spinel and Sapphire terribly. She missed her Pearl. She missed her topazes. She missed her Peridot. She missed her Citrine. She missed all of her gems. She even missed Yellow Diamond. It was too late to go back as Chrysoberyl. She would never have her old life back again. Had she truly made the right decision? Was the earth really worth everything she had gone through? Or would she have been better off at Yellow Diamond's side, having everything she could ever want, forever, just like Yellow Diamond had promised?
"She was right," sighed Chrysoberyl. "I really do deserve to be shattered."