Discovering Shadows (Completed)

Confused

There was a group of large men that huddle around the man and lady as we left the orphanage. They even kept The Headmistress away when she yelled that they couldn't take me. The big scary men put us in big long cars. I looked at the man and woman sitting in the back of the long car with me. I've never rode in a car before that I can remember. We just played with the broken toy cars sometimes. They are a lot smaller. It feels strange and smells like perfume. I'm not sure I like it. I feel like I need to sneeze. But I'm scared to I just hope the itchy nose goes away. So, I close my eyes real hard.

"My name is Fate." the lady voice says softly. When I look up she's trying to smile at me. Her eyes still look sad. I'm glad she doesn't try to touch me again. I really liked her hug but no one's ever done that before. Are crying hugs bad?

"We are going to take you somewhere real nice, Sweetheart. You won't ever have to be scared again. You will always have a nice place to sleep and good food to eat. I'll take good care of you." She paused and just smiled sadly at me before looking at the man and exclaiming "Not like that awful woman! What did she know of raising and caring for children. Did you see that place? Why, it was practically in ruins! How dare she keep children in that horrid dank place. Why every last one of them could be sick. UGH I don't even want to think about it! Asher! You have to do something! We cannot just leave them there." The poor lady. I don't know what she is talking about. But she seems to feel very strongly about it. She's sobbing quietly into her hands. Her ears are real red. I hope they aren't sick. My ears were real red for a lot of days after that cold bath. It hurt really bad.

Asher just reaches over with one hand and gently rubs her back. He doesn't say much but his eyes say a lot. There's a lot of anger and disgust when he looks at me. I don't know if it's because I haven't been allowed to shower for a couple of weeks and smell or if it's because I'm getting my mess all in his fancy car.

I'm not sure what they expect of me but I just pull my knees to my chest, wrap my arms around my knees and lay my head to the side looking out the window. The sky is dark and the wind is blowing the trees in every direction.

What was I going to do now? I would probably never see that place or Ms. Maggie or Mark again.

I just want to cry. But I need to be strong. I need to be brave.

I just don't know how to.

I turn in the seat putting my back to them. I curl my legs up to my chest and bury my face in my knees. I love Mark and I want him with me. It's like the further we drive away from him the more my heart hurts. I turn wanting to ask if we can stop and let Mark come. But the man is still watching me. He still looks angry. I don't want to but memories start coming. I wished those kids didn't tell me so many things.

Memories hurt. Especially when they are not your own.

Adjusting to a new place is hard. New smells. New schedule. Strangers. New memories.

I brace myself for the coming pain.