RESET | saeyoung choi

xiv

wow literally all Ive been doing lately is write this never happens I'm usually LATe on updates this is wild

Day Thirteen

He was fine, and that scares you. Why isn't he showing more emotions for the death of his close pet? Loosing Elizabeth before was similar to permanently loosing her now. You thought he got passed this: only caring for you.

"Jumin? Are you okay?" You try to comfort him, but he obviously doesn't need comforting.

"She will be missed, but death is unavoidable. It was bound to happen someday, and it just came sooner rather than later." He is so calm, and it's beginning to annoy you.

"J-Jumin, this is Elizabeth Third we are talking about," you say, standing in front of him. You place a hand on his cheek as he stares lazily at you. "It's okay to be upset. You don't know how sorry I am."

"Death of one love to make room for another."

"Jumin, I love you too, but please feel something. Don't push your love for Elizabeth away for me. I'm worried about yo-" you are interrupted by his hands suddenly cupping your cheeks, looking intently into your eyes.

"I was talking about a baby."

"A-a baby!?" you exclaim, trying to back away from him, but his hands are still lovingly cupping your face. You lightly grip around his wrists to pull him away, but he doesn't budge.

"Yes, [y/n]," he murmurs, and his hands slightly rub your cheekbones. "I-I want to do this with you."

"J-Jumin-"

"We don't have to right now, obviously, but I know with whom I'm spending the rest of my life with," he says. You look anywhere but his eyes.

"B-but, you should still...mourn, Jumin. She was special to you. One day we may have children, but you just lost your cat. Take the time to be sad about it. Be angry with me or something."

"Angry with you?" he repeats, removing his hands from your cheeks and tracing them down from your shoulders to your fingers, grasping your hands.. "Why would I do that?"

"Because it's my fault, Jumin. Please, show something, feel something."

"I could never be mad at you," he says, tucking your hair behind your ear.

"That's the thing. Y-you should be angr-"

"I can't be mad at you for something that was clearly Luciel's fault."

This is what you wanted to avoid.

"Luciel did nothing wrong. It was my fault, and I'm sorry," you say, avoiding his gaze once again. If you hadn't invited Luciel over, this wouldn't have happened. It's not his fault.

"That's hard to believe. Was he chasing her? Was he swinging her around? He is very much guilty," he says. He backs away from you, giving you space, and rubs his temples. "You're right, [y/n]. I should be angry. She was my companion for so long, after all."

"Y-yes, but don't direct your anger towards-"

"Luciel deserves it."

"He absolutely does not deserve your anger. I do-" You are practically begging for him to be angry with you. From not paying attention to Elly, to even considering having feelings for Seven, you feel you deserve some sort of punishment.

"Does he think I'm blind? Or just plain stupid?" he thinks aloud, fumbling with the buttons on his sleeves anxiously. "Does he think I can't see the way he looks at you, talks to you? You may be oblivious but I sure as hell am not."

"W-what are you talking about?"

"He kills my cat, and attempts to steal my love. I'm allowed to be angry. You're right, [y/n]."

"J-Jumin, no, he did nothing wrong. He isn't stealing me away; he didn't kill Elly; he is innocent in all of thi-"

"Elly?" he echoes, and your eyes widen at your mistake. "He even has you calling her that ridiculous nickname? Elizabeth Third- that was her name."

"He didn't do anything! It was all me, Jumin Han. Me. I allowed her to escape, leading her to being run over. I accidentally called her Elly. Is having feelings for me really a crime, Jumin? As long as I don't feel anything towards him, everything's fine, right?"

"Do you?" he asks, looking straight at you, trying to read the emotions on your face. "Do you have feelings for him?"

The words are caught in your throat. No, I don't. But, you're worried it might be a lie.

"Do you have feelings for Luciel?" he repeats his question, and you avoid his eyes.

"Of course..of course not," you say, attempting to look into his eyes, but you just see anger in his. That hesitation was the first mistake.

"You're lying."

"No, I'm not," you say, sternly.

"I don't believe you." This time, he sounds sad, not angry like before. His voice is softer, and your heart breaks.

"I have no feelings for Seven. I love you, Jumin. I really do," you whisper, looking down at the floor. You feel ashamed for making him think even for a moment that you loved someone else.

Even if you were still doubting yourself.

"Can I be alone for a little while? My cat died."

Your eyes start to water, and you look at him. His face is expressionless, and you don't know what to feel. "Okay."

Then you left.

But, remember that Jumin Han gets home at around 1am. You both get so caught up in arguing, he doesn't realize he basically kicked you out this late at night. For him, it doesn't feel late due to his messed up sleeping schedule. He doesn't realize until you're long gone.

That is the second mistake made tonight.