RESET | saeyoung choi

xvii

lmao this story might be over soon but whO knOWS bc I sure don't

Day Sixteen

"A-a coward? Why would you think that?" he asks, genuinely confused and concerned.

"Because that's what I am. I-I can't face him," you admit. You can feel Seven's gaze on you, but you refuse to make eye-contact. "I made a..mistake, I guess."

"What happened?"

You lift your gaze to his, a pained look on your face. Should you tell him the truth? "I fell for another."

He forgets how to breath. He forgets how to talk. He forgets how to think. His reaction is enough to make you regret telling him, but what's done is done. When he doesn't say anything, you begin to speak again, "It's nothing-"

"You- you don't love him anymore?" he interrupts, needing some sort of sign from you. You say you love someone else, but is there a possibility it's him? Or is it another person like Zen or Yoosung. God, please don't be them again. I couldn't handle it.

"I... nevermind," you push away the subject, starting to feel uncomfortable being stared at with his curious, hopeful eyes.

"Who is it?"

You inhale sharply, looking away from him. "U-um, it's no one. Doesn't matter." Why aren't I just telling him?

"It does matter! Please tell me." His eyes are focused intently on your face, hoping. It matters to me, he wanted to say.

"I-it's..."

You can't say it. Not with him looking at you like that. God, you're about to explode.

"I can't. I'm sorry."

"Can't what?"

"Say it aloud."

Saying it aloud would make it real; there would be no going back from it. You've already admitted to yourself that you're in love, but vocally saying it? You just couldn't.

His hopeful mood slowly slips away. He starts having second thoughts. Maybe it's not him you were talking about.

"That's okay," he says softly and smiles. "What are you going to do?"

"I have no idea. I can't...I can't keep leading him on," you say, and you're thankful for how understanding Luciel is. He's not pushing you to tell of whom you love, even if it is him.

"Then don't."

"How?"

"Just tell him."

"How?"

"With the help of God Seven, of course! Rip off the bandaid! Let him down easily or harshly, whichever you want, but do it fast." He's too excited about this, and it worries both you and himself.

"His cat literally just died," you mention. "I can't break him even more. I just...can't."

He doesn't say anything for a while. He understands how you don't want to hurt Jumin, especially since he's going through a major loss right now- even if he doesn't seem strongly effected.

But he can't help but feel selfish. Sure, he feels badly for Jumin, but isn't he allowed to want you to end things since he's been waiting all this time? It's selfish -so, so selfish- of him to think this way, but he has gone through so much hurt emotionally. He just wants to be happy.

"Are you sure you don't love him?" he finally asks, quietly.

You take one look at Seven and know for a fact that this is the person you love. "Positive."

"Woah woah woah, a bit harsh maybe," he jokes, holding his hands out. Maybe immediately agreeing to not loving Jumin any longer was a bit rude, but you can't help it. All these feelings that were gradually growing for Luciel suddenly come all at once. Why deny it to yourself anymore?

"Okay, so how do you want to do this? Take him out for dinner? Over text? How about we go over to his house, right now?"

"S-Seven! I can't just... I can't just." You start to feel frustrated when you can't get your words out. You may be positive about your feelings, but you aren't heartless enough to suddenly break someone's heart with no warning. You still care about Jumin, after all. "I can't just go over there! I can't even answer a phone call properly!"

"I'll go with you-"

"No," you immediately say, and he feels slightly hurt at how fast you denied his request. "You'd only make it worse."

"Pfft, worse?" He laughs, shaking his head. "The Defender of Justice doesn't make things worse. He makes things better. You would know." He then winks.

Feeling your face start to heat up, you clear your throat to try and go back to the topic. Seeing him wink at you is enough to get you flustered, oh no.

"A-anyway, I don't know what I'd say."

He thinks for a moment before responding. "The truth. Simple as that. Be like, 'yo, Jumin! Sorry, but you aren't my main cat anymore, ya know?' That would totally speak his language."

"No, I am not doing that."

"Yikes, quick to shoot down ideas."

"At least, not with that wording," you say, smiling. You appreciate his help even if it's somewhat weird that you're doing this because of him. "But, I-I think I might be ready."

"Really?" He feels awful for encouraging this, but he can't help but feel selfish when it comes to you.

"No, but I need to be."