RESET | saeyoung choi

xviii

Breaks my own heart to write this fuck it's not as emotional as i should've written it bc I just love jumin too much oh no

Day Seventeen

On the Seventeeth Day of loving Jumin, you break his heart.

Hesitant at first, you walk towards him. You both decided to meet at his place, and when you arrived, he was waiting outside for you.

"Hello, my love," he whispers to you, holding out a hand to you. You slowly reach towards his stretched out hand, and he surprises you when he kisses the back of it. He's making this so hard.

"Hey," you awkwardly greet him. You have to keep reminding yourself why you're here, and you can't believe how difficult it is. You really don't want to hurt him, and seeing his face now, in person, you can't imagine -you don't want to imagine- the pain it would show afterwards.

Breaking his heart is breaking your heart. But you remember why you're doing it in the first place, and end up feeling even more guilty. You and Seven haven't done anything together -haven't even directly confessed- but just having these feelings is enough for you to feel as if you're betraying your boyfriend- which you sort of are.

Jumin doesn't deserve to be lead on any further.

"Let's go inside," he says, grasping your hand, but you stay put.

"A-actually, I have somewhere to go afterwards. I won't be long," you say, and your hand holding his begins to sweat. He doesn't let go or seem to mind.

"So, what have you come for? We haven't seen each other in days. What's the special occasion?" He sounded upset when he mentioned the 'not speaking' part.

Your throat goes dry, and you're uncomfortable. How do you word this correctly? But, God, just imagining how he will react is enough to make you back out.

But you can't, and you don't. "I- I think..."

"You think?"

"I think, we should...um.." You notice that his attention is now fully on you. Somehow, his face looks completely innocent as if he has no idea what's coming next. How could you ever hurt him? "We should b-break up."

He didn't believe you at first. He hoped he had misheard you. "Pardon?"

"Please, don't make me say it again," you say, desperately. You just wanted to leave quickly and never see him again -even if you would miss him. His facial expression made your heart ache.

You feel like a monster. How could this expression, full of pain and sadness, be caused by you?

"You're- you're not being funny, [y/n]," he says softly. "I realize I can tell some pretty bad jokes, but this one is the worst."

Then, tears fall down your cheeks. "I- I'm not joking," you say through sobs. "I'm sorry. I need to- to go."

You turn to leave, but his larger hand grasps your wrist, preventing you from moving another inch. "Jumin, let me go."

"I- I don't want to. I can't."

Holding your free hand up to your mouth, you keep in your sobs. You're breaking up with him, and you're the one crying. "Jumin," you say once again, and the way you say his name makes his chest hurt.

"[y/n], my love. Please, don't," he says, and unexpectedly wraps his arms around you, hugging you from behind. "Please, don't leave me."

Whispering in your ear, burying his face into your shoulder, you hurt for him. "Jumin, I-"

"Why?" he asks quietly. He needs a proper answer for why you're ending things. "Tell me. I need to know."

"I.."

"Is it because I mentioned children?"

"No, of course not."

"Then, what is it?"

"I l-love someone... someone else," you say, and his breath hitches as you confess your reasoning.

"No," he denies, hugging you tighter. "Y-you can't. You said you didn't- you..you.."

"I'm sorry, Jumin," you say and forcefully remove his arms from around you. "G-goodbye."

You begin to walk away, and your eyes burn. Why am I crying? You love Jumin, of course, but you know that Luciel is the one, so why are you so upset?

It's because you can't stand to see him hurt- especially if you're the one doing the hurting.

"Is it Luciel?" he calls out to you as you walk away. You hesitate for a moment before wiping your eyes and turning towards him.

"Y-yes. It is."

He wants to scream. He knew that Luciel was somehow making you fall for him. How could he let this happen? What could he have done differently? Absolutely nothing. He couldn't do anything else to change things because no matter how you look at it, you were destined to end up with Seven.

He respects your decision, but he can't stop the anger and frustration he feels. You were the first person he's ever opened up to and loved. He loves you more than anything else in this world, but you don't. His heart hurts at the thought of you leaving, and it absolutely breaks when watching you leave.

On the Seventeeth Day of loving Jumin, he cries.