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#ThanksForLiving

When a death of a celebrity or "famous" person occurs, suddenly fans come out of the woodwork. We see a swarm of social media posts followed by #RIP. As beings with empathy, it is sad to hear about a loss of someone in our society. People rally behind the celebrity stating that they are going to watch that show (or movie) or by (or listen) to their music in celebration of their lives. There is a small minority of online social warriors who get upset because people are what they perceive as being fake fans because "like where were these fans when that person was alive." That type of dismissal makes me sad because everyone has their personal role models and no matter how fleeting, these people are integrated into our lives. For me, there are celebrities whose deaths made me feel a profound loss and it wasn't necessarily because I was their number one fan. When they died, I felt like a piece of me was ripped out and I was hollow in that spot forever.

Carrie Fisher- 2016

My Facebook post pretty much sums up my thoughts on the death of Princess Leia. "My heart has officially broken. I looked up to Carrie Fisher growing up as role model that it was ok to be a woman and kick ass. Through her memoirs, we found a beautiful person who was able to break past her inner struggles in a male dominated hypersexualized career to live a successful and fulfilling life." If you haven't deduced, I am a geek. I am not a "I have to go to every convention ever type geek," not that there is anything wrong with that. Call me a lazy geek, if you will. I enjoy all types of scifi movies and television shows. I have watched every Star Wars movie and even played several of the video games. I cannot list off every alien race nor recite word for word lines from each movie. However, I still consider myself a geek and use the hashtag "NerdyAwesome" judiciously. Star Wars is an icon of human achievement in entertainment. It finds a way to address religion, politics, and life in a way that merely just feels like a good space fiction. Yoda and Obe Wan Kenobe are the wise moral compasses who teach Luke the path to becoming a powerful, but good Jedi. Through his journey the audience battles with him as we root for him to "do the right think," and stay away from the "dark side" that is within us all. However, he was never my favorite character. (For the record, Yoda is da shitznit.. just fyi) Princess Leia was a rebellion leader, but she was a girl like me. That is a powerful role model as a young tomboy like myself. I rallied behind her without a second thought. She did not wait for the men to rescue her and even takes it upon herself to save the boys. She was unapologetically awesome. We need more role models like this in our entertainment to teach people it is okay to break from gender stereotypes that society has imposed on us all. I am only two months into her death and with the rise of our Darth Vader and Senator Palpatine in our government feeling more and more real, I feel a sense of pride to see Carrie Fisher's Princess Leia on protest signs that read, "A woman's place is in the rebellion." Amen. #WhyIMarch

David Carradine- Died 2009 (Kung Fu circa 1972)

I was a tomboy growing up. There was no doubt, I was my father's son that he never had and I am glad I was able to fill that void for him at the time. I loved many of the same things as him, namely action television shows and movies. Kung Fu, the television show on its surface gave me a love of Karate that I could share with my Dad. I remember even being enrolled into Woo Ying Dou Karate (probably misspelled) and watching my Dad integrate his Law Enforcement training with Karate at a Demonstration Showcase. I was fascinated by the amount of skill and art he was able to develop in what I saw was a short time. Many years growing up, I wanted to learn Karate, but not just any Karate. I wanted to master the Shaolin techniques and be able to get the two forearm tattoos showing my mastery. For now, my forearms remain bare, just in case.

However, when I think deeply of the reason of my profound loss, it was more for the death of the character that really struck me. Kwai Chang Caine was a character of great depth and compassion for all people and animals. He was a man that did not fit into the cruel archaic American West. In times of great peril, he was calm and had an unwavering faith that life would happen as it should. He was a moral compass that I could count on to choose love and respect even when it wasn't always the easiest path. He was a drifter and that allowed him to spread his philosophy with America. He seemed to resist becoming involved in each new community but felt compelled to act on his social responsibility. I admire all those things and have little doubt that having that character as a role model influence my decisions even now. #IHearTheGrasshopper

Robin Williams- Died 2014

The sudden death of Robin Williams by suicide is probably the biggest loss I have ever felt in my adult life. There is no shortage of credits in his acting career. For me its hard to encompass the totality of the loss I feel for him and what he brought to each character. He was my nanny in Mrs. Doubtfire. He was robot figuring out what it is to be truly alive. His portrayal of love and loss in movies like Good Will Hunting and Come What May make me cry time and time again. His portrayal as a gay man in the Birdcage trying to play it straight for his son was not just comic genius, but also a story of acceptance. I laughed with him in Aladdin and played games in Jumanji. From Ferngully to Hook and Night at the Museum, every character was loveable, nuanced and inherently human. When Robin William's died, I felt like someone stabbed me in the heart and ripped out all that is good and funny. The fact that he took his own life crushes me because he brought so much joy and laughter to the world even when he was in so much pain and conflict. When I watch his work now, there is a profound loss. #TheDayTheLaugterDied

Gene Roddenberry- Died 1991; Leonard Nemoy- Died 2015; James Doohan- Died 2005; DeForest Kelley- Died 1999 (Star Trek circa 1966)

Another old television show, my parents love is Star Trek. I remember many times, my parents would tell us kids to go to bed and I would sneak downstairs to try to watch bits and pieces of the reruns they were watching. As an adult, this was one of the few series that I bought the full set of DVDs and can literally watch over and over without fail. I could probably write books alone on how Star Trek has permeated our lives through technology, science and human's role in the universe. I even remember wishing I could join the Star Fleet Academy so I could explore strange new worlds and fascinating new cultures. (This specifically had a great amount of influence in my choice to later join the U. S Coast Guard.)

As an adult, I see now that Star Trek is a modern Aesop's Fables teaching us morals, values, and our role within our own communities. To give you an idea of how they integrated social issues in an episode, watch "Let that be your last battle field." In that episode, one character was half-black on left side and half-white on the right side fought with another character that was literally exactly the same, but the colors were swapped. It was a not so subtle look at racism during a period of time just a few years after MLK was assassinated. The two characters were so filled with hate and revenge that they continued their war even when faced with knowing that they were the only two people left from their planet of origin. So many feels. Another episode, Plato's Stepchildren featured an interracial kiss between Captain Kirk and Lt. Uhura. Something unheard of in 1968. Even into the newer iterations of Star Trek, Gene continued to tackle social issues like torture, war, government, civil rights, sexuality, xenophobia, sexism, economics, wage/ class gaps, and even love of all kinds.

The original Star Trek characters that were developed were colorful, complex and lovable thanks to the fantastic actors who brought them alive. My favorite character is Spock (Nemoy) hands down. The Vulcan culture praise knowledge above everything else. Spock, though, is half human so even when looking for logic, but always finding he never loses his humanity. Life is messy and full of shades of gray so I think he often looks at Kirk with surprise when Kirk shows that logic isn't always the correct answer. The character Scotty (Doohan) always found a way to make me laugh. He was a simple man, but a genius with mechanical and technical knowledge. He proves that you don't have to be a book nerd to be brilliant. He showed that when you loved what you did with every bit of passion of your being, it stops being work. As an enthusiastic Scotsman, I can't help but smile because he is so relatable to the normal middle-class person. When I was stationed on my first ship, I was a fireman. No, not THAT kind of fireman. In the Coast Guard and Navy, these were the lower ranking person in the engine room (like a deck hand) whose sole purpose in life was to do the grunt work. I often spent many a hour wiping up oil in the bilges and lovingly creating gaskets. However, I never looked down on it because the engine is an essential component to the ship; if it doesn't run, everyone is dead in the water. In short, I could pretend that I was making a difference no matter how small an action. Bones, the Doctor (Kelley) was yet another brilliant, but very human character. He was often the "Voice of Humanity" for Kirk whereas Spock was the "Voice of Logic." He was quick to throw around a passionate argument which no doubt helped Kirk figure out the moral implications of actions. As I said, I literally could fill books with the ways each episode and character permeates my life now and how I developed as a person. As much of the cast are aging, I find myself riding the wave of loss as I mourn the passing of the actors that brought to life the characters that molded me into the person I am today. #LiveLongAndProsper