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#Belief

 As a child living in Northwest Washington state, I was in a protected bubble of like-minded environmentally conscious people. When I was a preteen, my family moved to the Bible Belt of Mobile Alabama. A culture shock socially, but also internally.  Things I thought were societal norms, I found out weren't.  I was "Sunshine" from Remember the Titans and honestly ignorant that things like racism were still a thing.  

Like seriously naive.  I thought MLK took care of all the civil rights issues back in the 60s and we as a society were past all that.  I was wrong.  I was the outsider not just because of my peace, love, and save the planet mentality, but because I was a Mormon and we were brought up that there was just one true church. I often debated (ok argued) with people on what they believed.  The back of the bus shouting matches and looks of incredulousness a norm of sorts.  

We spoke on religion, politics, racism, the Confederate flag, football (because down there everything revolves around football).  I read the Bible, Koran, Torah. I explored Wicca, the Tripitaka (Buddism), and the Vedas(Hindu) as I tried desperately to understand the world around me. At one point instead of calling myself a non-believer, I went as far as to say I was "more spiritual" because I didn't understand why I was unable to find a religion that was factual and consistent with the reality we live in. I wanted to find a connection somewhere. As if want was enough to make it true.

It wasn't until I was researching types of anthropology and biology for a book I was writing that I learned more about how our brains are naturally superstitious but also how that benefited our species in an evolutionary sense. 

I remembered that when I was in college, I was required to take classes on usability and marketing. 

Sidebar... It's both fascinating and horrifying people conduct studies paid by corporations to try to figure out what people look at on a website and why they are more likely to buy something.  Stores design their layouts to try to maximize impulsive buying. Someone would notice that people were more likely to buy beer if they put it next to the diaper aisle. This unconscious control carries over to other aspects of our lives too. FYI the terms cravability and snackability are horrible and probably why so many people have trouble staying away from crap foods.

Science is trustworthy not because it is always correct- it's not.  It isn't just a list of facts, hypotheses, and theories. It doesn't tell you what to think but provides a pathway towards truth. It's a journey of seeking the best way to describe the world we live in.  It allows for mistakes, ways to correct them, and make updates.

With it, I had a way to find demonstrable proof. I'm a sucker for facts so I dug deep.  I researched (ok armchair googling) science breaking down cognitive dissonance, herd mentality, social science, biology, archaeology, geology, astronomy, quantum physics, physics, cosmology, language, and politics. (The list could actually go on, but ya know.) The more I dug into these fields, the more I realized how vast this subject really was.  I could literally pick one subject, devote my life to a niche chapter, and still not understand it.  My intelligence aside, I just didn't have time for all that.

How do we as humans know anything at all? Well, that led me to Philosophy and Epistemology.

What are the basics of what we can truly know? 

How do we know? 

Will we ever know? 

Is it safer to just believe just in case? 

Questions like that led me to Occam's razor and the null hypothesis. Which in turn brought me to Pascal's wager and the Kalam cosmological argument. All of which are super interesting and I highly recommend everyone to consider each argument's strengths and weaknesses.

Logic and the different fallacies people use in order to make their point, fascinate me. Even the most simple concepts can muck up your brain for days. However, when we use logic and reason, it seems that arguments 'for a diety' break down pretty quickly because it's something we can't prove. 

How do you prove what a world would look like both with a diety and without? 

Can you ever have proof for something that doesn't exist in the natural world if all you can test is what is in the said natural world?

I started asking whether or not I care about what's true. How many people are quick to say, "Well believing gives them peace or community."  and what are the dangers of believing something that makes you feel a certain way? 

Those that go to church for the social aspect and all that...the social and cultural Christians who aren't "really religious" but want to be seen as "good people" so they make sure they dress the part and show up to service at least a few times a year.

But can you find that community in a secular way? 

Is it possible to be a "good person" and not go to church?

When I graduated high school, I served my country in the military. It was an essential tool and support group as a young adult on my own for the first time.  It gave me a job, a roof over my head, a paycheck, medical/dental, training, community, and purpose.  Even now years later, I volunteer for a local animal rescue which also gives me tons of hard work, charity, and I get to educate others.  It is incredibly fulfilling.  I am able to help my community in a secular way both in-person and online.  Instead of praying, I journal or reflect while I stretch. 

I'm not sure if I will ever get past the "not knowing." As humans, we hunger to understand. 

I do doubt- what's the point of church? With the rise of sexual assault, harassment, cults, and other corrosive divisive ideologies, I think churches are places of corruption. Any benefits are lost to the evils of humans inside them.

It takes a strong person to be able to look at their own actions and reflect upon it.  

What do you believe is a moral action or a beneficial action? Why?

Does your day-to-day life reflect those ethics and morality that you say you believe in?

Some people say they care about truth but when presented facts their first reaction is to defend the stance.  I do this too.  They don't consider the new information more than a cursory glance and whether or not the new data could have an impact on the decisions that they already made. Instead, they dig in their heels or bury their heads in the sand.

I have adjusted my stance on several subjects several times. It's a hard process. It's a humbling experience to realize you were wrong and to admit it (or worse that you just don't know).

Once I received new information, I found it hard to not push back as everyone does. Sometimes even after giving pushback, I had moments I was alone thinking about it, that information would stew. It would drive me crazy because unsurity never sits well.  We are kind of cocky ego-driven people; we want to be right. 

But where does that leave us when we can't take a step back and look at the world? 

Society is divisive. Everyone has an opinion, but no one is listening to anyone else. If they could just take a moment, it might make civility possible.

If I could just get one more person to sit, think, and consider, I've done my job. My topics are often "touchy" or "taboo." I bring them up because I truly want to know what you believe and why. 

Am I mistaken? 

Or did you fall into the trap of superstition, woo, fake news, dishonest gurus, or the ignorant? 

We don't know unless we talk.  

Edited 2/20/2021

Originally Posted 2019