letters to jen

eighty-four

{31st january 2014}

dear jen,

me:

you: hey.

me: hey.

you: happy birthday.

(i seriously did try and smile. i promise. i'm not sure how it came out. hopefully leaning more towards a smile than a weird grimace.)

me: i, uh...

me:

me: thanks.

you:

me:

you:

me:

you: i got you something.

(you held up this box that was small and wrapped in newspaper.)

me: you did?

you: i did.

(then you gave it to me. i stared at it for quite a long time and you must've found it a bit weird so sorry about that. i just...i don't know. i guess i wasn't expecting it.)

me:

me:

me:

(you laughed.)

you: so are you going to open it or what?

me: uh, yeah. right. opening.

(you started to talk quite quickly while i was trying to unwrap the present without tearing the paper, because newspaper deserves appreciation.)

you: sorry it's a really bad present, i just wasn't sure if you'd like a present, because, well, you know, but then joe said i was being stupid and that you would want a present, but i didn't know what to get you, and he said to get you the very first thing that comes to mind when i think just about it in general, so i did it, except the thing is what came to mind is a bad one - present, i mean - so it's really cheap and worth, like, seven dollars, but joe said you'd like it because it's "all fucking thoughtful and poetic and you both like that shit" unquote, so -

me: guitar picks.

you:

me:

you: i...yeah.

me: you got me a box of guitar picks.in different colours. with different things on them.

you: i know it sucks -

me: shut up.

me: this is...

(i didn't ever really finish the sentence because i got distracted by your note, which read: take your pick! happy birthday. love, jen. i don't know what was more distracting, the pun or the "love, jen".)

me:

me:

you:

me:

me: take your pick.

me: take your pick.

you: i -

me: take your pick.

you:

me:

you:

me:

you:

me:

(and then, i started laughing. really, really hard.)

me: that is...that is the worst...i've ever...oh god -

you: well, sorry, but i actually thought it was pretty good -

me: take your pick -

you: fine. keep laughing at me.

(we were both silent for a few seconds, but that was all it took for us both to burst into fits of laughter, and i haven't laughed on my birthday in two years, but i did this time, and it is so totally your fault.)