{3rd february 2013}
dear jen,
i've written this letter about seven and a half times in my head and it still doesn't sound the way i want it to - but do you ever get so upset that the only thing you can do is laugh when nothing at all is funny and you laugh aloud and the laughter doesn't sound like real laughter it sounds like broken laughter, desperate laughter, i don't have anything left in me but this laughter, because i do that, i don't know how to cry any more so i laugh.