| Masked feelings |

10a. Past

*Swayam*

For the past five minutes, she kept looking at space between us, she did not utter a word and neither did she look at me. Her eyes were glued to space, and her face ran out of emotions, it was blank.

Subconsciously I moved towards her, taking small steps. I was afraid of her reaction, I have always been and that was what stopped me to tell her about my past. She may have noticed my movement; she looked up and cursed.

"What the heck?"

I know, I said something that would change my life completely; it may even cost me my life, and my Sharon still I am taking a drastic step after all life is about taking a risk.

"Yes, Sharon. I'm a murderer."

"I don't believe this," she mumbled, but I know at some point she believed me.

"I will tell you everything,"

I lead her towards the couch, where Sneha had been sitting earlier. Digging into a horrible past is not an easy task, nevertheless, I dig into my sore memories.

It was a usual day until Sneha called me in that evening to invite me to a party. It didn't take much time for me to say 'yes' considering that I was a party freak.

But, I regret that day.

I walked into the huge building, which stood proudly glittering with lights, the lights were so cheap yet so sharp, and it made me uncomfortable, something that never happened before. As I put my feet in front of that house all I felt was repulsion.

It did not give me a feeling of a house; it was a nightclub.

I slowly made my way through the crowd, through the dancing crowd. With a single look I could say, I was on the wrong side of the city and I was not at a house, I was at a murky and dusky nightclub in the town. The smell of drinks, smoke, and sweat assaulted me when I inhaled deeply. From around the corner, I could hear the somnolent beating of my favorite songs. The club was dancing on the beats, swaying their bodies, touching and caressing each other. The hot and lecherous air suffocated me; I was feeling so apprehensive, and I could feel something wrong, I wanted to get out of that place, but I couldn't before I inform Sneha. I was wondering what made her come there, to such a place.

I walked deep into the club to search my friends, people were shouting at their top of voice for others to hear. After each passing seconds, the night became more dusky and dark, and it terrified me. That was when I noticed, a girl was being forced by three people, she looked so familiar to me, and so young, around thirteen or fourteen.

I walked towards them to help the girl and out of impulse I pulled her behind me; she was so terrified and wasted. Her palms clutched my shirt, and she was shivering. I know I could never win them over, I would be all beaten up if I try to fight them, and looking at them, I could tell, no one would even find my dead body if they kill me, they were that scary, some kind of gangsters.

I didn't know what happened next.

When I opened my eyes in the next morning, I was in a room, on the floor...and there was a weight on my body. Startled with the sudden realization I woke up hastily without caring about the weight that had been on me throughout the night. When I heard something plop on my feet, I looked down and what I saw made me scream. I screamed at the top of my voice. I could not move from there, nor I could speak anymore. There laid, the same girl, who I tried to save last night, all ripped and broken...and naked.