| Masked feelings |

4. Mediocre relationship

She slowly walked up to him worrying about his sudden interest to talk to her, she didn't see this coming in the near future, and she was not prepared for such a talk. "Swayam," she called out to gain his attention, he was standing facing his back towards her.

She was packing when Rey barged into her bedroom informing her that Swayam wanted to talk to her. Sharon tried to stop Rey telling him that she doesn't want to talk to Swayam, but Rey wasn't ready to give up, he dragged Sharon out of her house. Dropping her, he drove off after giving her a suggestion that, don't return with a broken heart. Little did Rey know that there was nothing left unbroken.

"I didn't expect that you would come." He turned to face her but he looked beyond she, he wasn't looking at her face for known reasons. Sharon followed his gaze and she saw Rey driving off, she wanted to run behind his car and beg him to take her away, she knew this talk going to break her already broken heart.

"Then why did you wait?" She gathered his attention with that, he looked at her eyes and smiled,

"Because I saw the need to talk, and I couldn't just leave it by pretending that I didn't see." His smile doesn't reach his eyes; they were dull, devoid of any emotions. "Sharon, you know, what is happening around us, with us... and you should also know that I am helpless, I can't do anything about it." By the time he finished he reached in front of her.

"You called me, to show me that I mean nothing to you." She asked vaguely.

"Huh, Nothing! You mean everything to me, Sharon."

For a moment, they both looked at each other, she searched for a hope in his eyes, but they didn't show off anything... he stared at her face, trying to imprint her face in his heart.

"But, you are implying that I am not worth trying, you are implying that you can't fight for me, you are implying that you are giving up, Swayam." She walked beyond where he was standing and she stood where he was initially waiting for her. Her emotions were out of place, she never anticipated that her life would take a turn like this. When she was little, like every girl, she dreamt of a fairytale, she dreamt a life with Swayam even before she understands such relationships, she just imagined him in the place of her prince.

"I gave up when I realized my feelings." He responded bluntly, not thinking before what his word could do to her.

"Then why did you call me here?" She was on the verge of tears, but she did not let it fall. She didn't even let him see her. They both were facing the opposite directions, their back was towards each other; if Sharon was facing north, then Swayam was facing south, facing two opposite poles.

"Just, just to see you before I leave."

"What do you mean?" hastily turning Sharon shouted,

"I am leaving Mumbai Sharon; I am leaving everything I have here." He didn't turn, but he could feel her gaze, those two eyes were begging him to take her away.

"Including me?" mumbling she took a step back.

"You were never mine." He reminded her, "Sharon was never Swayam's in the real sense, she was his in your dreams only."

"So what about that you told me before my engagement?"

"That was a simple confession Sharon, we have never kept any secrets, and we were always so open to each other."

"You confessed because you did not want to hide it from me?"

"Hmm..."

"Not because you wanted me to back out?"

When she said that, she expected that he would turn to look at her, and he did, he indeed turned; her breath hitched in her throat when she saw his pain, he was in unbearable pain. He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to gulp down his heartbreak. Opening his eyes, he said, "No, I never wanted that, I had told you that before."

Sharon sighed heavily, taking a deep breath, she responded to what he said, "Okay, Fine..., I understand that you are giving up not even before trying... but what about this trip...you will have to see me everywhere, I can't be invisible."

"I will ask dad, whether it's possible to cancel your trip."

"No, don't do that," Sharon yelled outrageously, "I hate it when you take decisions for me."

"Then what do you want to do?"

"I want to go to this trip Swayam; you can't stop me from achieving my dreams."

"Okay, but promise me that, we will be like before; like Shivam sees us...Best friends." He extended his hands to make a deal.

She took his hands and shook it. Why it's always Shivam? Why can't it be us?' She wanted to ask him that but never did. Without turning back, she walked away leaving him behind. It's just a mediocre relationship that Swayam and Sharon share.

***

I couldn't breathe when Shivam hugged me when we were at the airport, he squeezed the life out of me, I will miss you, Sharon.' His words had been alive in my ears for a long time, I tried to respond to his gestures, but I couldn't, you really cannot hug another man when the person you love just stands beside you. Placing my arms around him, I hugged him back in a friendly manner but didn't utter a word. Shivam and Rey had come to see us off and after dropping us at the airport, they left. The flight delayed for two hours and so deciding to wait in the caf we both walked together to bump into one of our old friends.

"Hello, Swayam and Sharon, What a pleasant surprise." He squealed.

"Hi Shyam," We both said at the same time, feeling awkward we both looked at each other and slightly smiled.

"Wow, what a chemistry." A girl around our age said behind Shyam, by the look of her I took her as his wife. She was holding a two-year-old toddler, who was busy licking his thumb. I smiled at that small happy family, and I silently prayed for a life like that.

***

"Shivam, why don't we just stop here, the weather is so calm. It feels good." Rey suddenly exclaimed, bringing Shivam out of his dream world. He has been moody since Sharon left for the trip; he was just staring out of the window when Rey called him.

"Sure,"

Rey parked the car and walked out of it, hopping on the bonnet he made himself comfortable, Shivam followed his action and sat on the bonnet of their car.

"What happened? You look serious?" Shivam inquired, looking worried.

"Have you ever thought about a situation where Sharon having feeling for someone else?"

"What, why are you asking this now?"

"Lately I have been thinking about that, you and me, we both know that Sharon doesn't reciprocate your feelings, have you ever thought what it's reason could be?"

"I haven't"

"I think Sharon has feelings for someone else."

"What are you trying to say?"

"I said it clearly Shivam, me, you and Swayam we know Sharon since we were kids, I feel that Sharon loves someone else."

"What about Swayam?" Shivam asked.

"What about him?"

"Does he know?"

"Err, I think he does."

***

Thank you!