Red Darkness (On Hold)

A Second Try

We eat alone when Mum gets back from work at 6:00, since Dad is still on the government trip to Stalingrad. He's gone usually once a month, sometimes more. We eat in relative silence, the way Mum is sitting tells me she's mad about something, and it's best not to talk to her. Days like this are tense, so I can't wait to get to bed. That and my eagerness to see if I can become that cat again. I take a shower after dinner then sit and read for a bit. Mum knits, absently staring at the radio. I go to bed at nine, claiming not to feel well again and Mum doesn't object. Once it gets dark she's pretty much out of it and doesn't care what happens.

I sit in my room trying to get comfortable yet not alert Mum that I'm still awake. I don't want her walking in on me. After awhile the light goes out, and I hear her walk down the hall to her room. As soon as she starts snoring I kick the covers off and sit up. I black out the windows and light a small candle on my bedside table. Stupid war, making me black out the window. I guess I don't want a bomb on my head though. I go back towards my bed and sit on the floor where I can see both the clock and the candle. I'll try till 10. Making myself comfortable, I stare at the candle for a focus point.

As I gaze, I see myself as the animal from this afternoon. The itching, the tugs, the muted pain. At first I feel nothing. Then I slowly feel my nails turn into claws, and I can now see in the dark. My attention wavers as I look around. Everything is black and white, but I can see perfectly. The dresser, the bed, and...Ug, I had no idea my room was this dusty. Shaking my head, I turn back to the candle and my thoughts. A few minutes later the changes begin again. Within a half hour I have turned back into the creature from this afternoon.

Excitedly I set out to explore this new form. My nose is sharper and I can smell odd scents coming from every direction. I nose my fur and find it soft, at least to the skin on my nose. I lift a paw and look at the pad. Uh-oh. These pads are like baby skin. To tender to go outside with. I make a mental note of that and continue my explorations. A sharp pain hits me from somewhere, and I let out a low growl. I whip around and find my tail on fire. Surprise courses through me. What the? Oh no oh no oh no. The candle! I try to blow out my tail, which is starting to smoke and really hurt. Unfortunetly, it is rather hard to form a cat's lips into the necessary shape to blow something out, so my tail continued to burn. The water on the bed stand! I carefully dip my tail into the cup, thankfully it has a wide rim. My tail is extinguished and relief floods me.

Note: never not know where my tail is. Tentatively I lick my tail like I see stray cats do. A slight sting is all the pain I feel, and it seems to help the raw skin. I make another mental note to find some salve to put on that in case it blisters. Of course, I'd have to find an excuse for taking the slave which means I might have to go and 'accidently' burn my finger or something. Not fun, but necessary.

I carefully move myself around so that I'm staring at my reflection in the mirror. I study every detail, noting how I stand and hold myself. Other than the burnt tail, my fur looks glossy and smooth. Experimentally I lick my fur like I see cats do to clean themselves. Ick. It tastes dry and weird. But that spot of fur looks better and cleaner somehow. I sigh as well as able in this form. Guess I better clean everything.

I sit down and begin cleaning, taking note of what works best. All the while I notice my ears roving around, turning this way and that to get the best possible sound reception. Cool. I wonder how they do that on their own. I try to move them myself, and end up with one sideways and the other flat to my skull. Hmmmm. This is harder than it looks. After only a minute of moving them consciously, I start to feel them getting tired and cramping up. Awwww. I guess they have muscles that need worked up like everything else.

Bored with cleaning and ear wiggling, I walk over to the window and peer out, careful to keep the blackout curtain over as much of the window as possible. Whoa! These eyes are AWESOME! I can see everything! The entire town that is visible from my window is painted in shades of black, white, and gray. I can see the watch men doing their rounds by the light flicker of a light in a window. I hope it's no one I know. They're going to get in trouble for not using the blackout curtains. Wouldn't want to be ya!

I move away from the window, letting the curtain fall back into place. I take a quick glance at the clock and realize that it's already fifteen past ten. Dang it! I've most likely got school tomorrow and I don't know how long it will take to change back! With that pleasant thought in mind I sit down and work on becoming human again.

Just like this afternoon, it's hard to concentrate, especially since I'm still marveling over what happened tonight. I mean, I managed to change again! It takes less time than earlier, and in about fifteen minutes I'm back to me. Careful not to make much noise, I pull on my substitute pair of pajamas and blow out my candle. So much easier now that I don't have cat lips! I climb into my bed and wrap the quilt around me so I'm in a giant fluffy ball with only my head sticking out on my pillow. The quilt was given to me by Grandma, she is such a good person and seamstress. Or rather, was. Arthritis has taken over some of her joints, making it difficult some days. I'm glad I have this quilt, it's a piece of her and it is very welcome during winter nights and early spring.

It's hard to go to sleep, I just keep turning everything over in my head. I wonder how long it will take me to fly, if I can. I'd better find a field where I can work on getting flight worthy so that flying becomes easy. Will I get faster at changing with practice? Can MUM do this? Or am I the only one in the world? I start to doze, and am shaken back by the sound of a feral dog barking. My mind wanders again and with a woozy head I make a note to figure out what kind of big cat I am, that might assist me in doing something or figuring out if something like this happens. Research tomorrow. Right now, sleep......

The warm covers envelope me as I sink into the realm of dreams.