So today I wore a pink and white polka dotted dress, cat ears (headband) that I got from Hot Topic, and makeup and so many people would stop, look me up and down and say "What the fuck?" It was kinda funny. But I felt good today so that's all that matters. '
And in 6th hour my friend (The one I mentioned in the last chapter)(1) was playing with my kitty ears and she said "I said I liked the dress but not the ears, you know I'm only messing with you becuase you're my friend, "at this point she went from her joking and became completely serious "But if anyone else messes with you, I'll mess them up" and my other friend (whom is trying to get in my pants)(2) said "I don't like the dress. It's too church-girl-ish" then friend (1) defended the dress. I thought it was cute that she's kinda protective over me.
But she's still oblivious to how I feel. She's going to ask this boy to be her boyfriend though. He's nice. I understand why they like each other.
I swear her and I are like the same person except she's more confident. I'm waiting to go to school one day and her be gone and when I ask people if they know where she is they'll look at me as if I'm insane and say there's never been anyone by that name at school. That's what I'm afraid of. Terrified really. Today in bio she said she had a fear of being late and I just looked at her instead of saying anything because I didn't want her to think I was mocking her or anything, but I have this terrible fear of being late and I don't know why. It's always been there. I don't know what's going on. It's like she's everything I want to be. She's everything I am. I'm quite afraid of her. I don't really know why I am. I just am. I had to text her a few minutes ago to make sure she doesn't use Wattpad so she can't find this. I've been afraid of her finding this but only her, really. I don't really care if any of my other friends find this and read it then figure out it's me, but I care if she would find it. I hope she doesn't. She already can see through my lies and bullshit answers, I don't need her to find this too.
I gotta go stalk her and see if she has an account on wattpad.
Love yall.
-- I'm editing this after it was published the first time--
I just realized I haven't eaten anything solid today. I'm technically starving myself. I never eat breakfast because I don't have time but if I really wanted to eat I could make time. My friend (mentioned above) gets proud of me when I eat breakfast and when I occasionally eat lunch. It makes me happy when she's proud but she's proud because I'm doing something everyone needs. When I think about it like this it kinda makes me sad and upset. But not like I'm going to change anything.
Every morning now my mom and I are gonna get up at 5 every morning and go to the gym and workout for about an hour. We have yoga Mondays and Fridays. We're starting tomorrow. I'm excited. Maybe I'll lose the roundness to my face magically. I don't know anymore. Hopefully I'll be in a shape besides round before too long.
I'll update probably tomorrow to tell yall how it went. Bai!
^_^
---Update:
I'm eating cereal now, so this is the only legit thing I've eaten today.
It's good.
