The Fox and the Alpha

{12}

Xander ripped the wolf apart in less than ten seconds, but all I could do was stare. My hand was pressed against my shoulder and blood poured out of me, screams were heard throughout the crowd. It seemed only about five Rogues has gotten through, but the pack warriors quickly took them out. No one got hurt, except for me that is.

I could feel my heart stopping, my legs giving out from under me. Xander screamed, I felt his arms wrap around me and press me up to him. His screams seemed to be the only thing getting through to me, it seemed as if I had cotton in my ears. I couldn't breathe, I felt blood coming out of my mouth.

I twisted from his grasp and arched my back, coughing as I attempted to let air into my now blood filled lungs. I watched as a crimson liquid pooled out under me. I flung back over on my back, black watched in my vision.

Xander cried out in pain, my Brian reacting faster than I thought it could. I shut off the bond, blocking away any pain I was having.

'He will never feel more pain than the pain of us leaving.'

I watched Xander kneeling over me with Daniel, their mouths moving but nothing reached my ears. I felt my body arch again, pain so intense I couldn't scream in agony. My mouth opened as I tried to push out words, any words, to let them know I was okay.

I could hear Clary within me, she knew what was happening, I knew what was happening, but there wasn't a thing I could do. This was a prophecy, a warning, something I knew I had to do. In order to save this pack, my pack, I had to die.

'We'll be with our mother soon, our true mother. The Moon Goddess will welcome us.'

I smiled at her words, tears pouring from Daniels eyes. Xander looked numb, his hands gripping my arms. I felt my ears clear up a little, Clary using what little strength she had left.

"You can't leave me Ashe, you and me against the world, remember?" Daniel was sobbing, my mother standing behind him in Linda's arms. Linda stared at me, her mouth pressed shut.

"She isn't leaving, she isn't dying, where is the fucking pack doctor!" Xander was shouting so loud, my breathing came out more of a wheezing.

I lifted my hand when Xander shut his eyes, touching his cheek. He contorted his face in pain, opening his eyes to let his green irises look at me one more time. My hand was covered in blood, now covering his cheek.

"I- I love you, my Prince." I wheezed out, arching my back as pain radiated through me one more time. Black clouded the edge of my vision, I could hear my heart slowing. "Don't, don't, turn hard."

My eyes rolled back as my heart beat one last time, my lungs no longer filled with air, my brain no longer sending neuron signals to any part of my body. I began to shake, blood filling every part of me and pouring out onto the floor. I was no longer alive, I died, just the way I was supposed too.

***

Xander's POV

I never knew what agony felt like, what heartbreak felt like. I had read about it, seen movies, even heard songs about it; but I had never dealt it within my being.

I thought when my father died that was the worst pain I had ever felt. But then I met Ashe, and when she ran away from me because of Stacey, that came pretty close to my father dying. I wish that could compare to this right now, I wish I wasn't feeling this right now.

Who knew such a small body could have so much blood? I was covered in blood, her blood, the love of my life's blood. I couldn't do anything but hold her, her body had grown cold hours ago, the fire that had been warming the cold air had died out not long after she did.

Ashe. The one thing keeping me on the earth, the one thing keeping me from ripping everyone apart right now.

Daniel was sitting feet away from me, his mother had left minutes ago with my own. Every time he attempted to come near her, I couldn't help but growl. I wouldn't let anyone touch her, no one could, except me.

How could this happen? Why the hell did she push that girl out of her way? I would have gladly let her die, gladly let almost anyone besides her die, for five more minutes. I had killed that piece of shit that jumped on her in seconds, my body couldn't even react to the blood leaving her.

I heard howls from the pack house, howls of mourning. I couldn't find it in me to respond, sobs racking my body once again. What did she even mean?

'Don't turn hard.'

What does that mean?

Adrian had been silent inside of me, but he wasn't dead. For some reason I could hear him breathing, almost as if he was sleeping. I was mourning, I was dying, why wasn't he?

I couldn't contain myself, dropping her body. I stood up and ran, shifting as my paws pounded on the forest floor. I ran faster and faster, somehow thinking that if I ran fast enough, she come bounding out and tackle me. She'll pull me into a hug, kiss my lips, and leave me breathless.

I came to her waterfall, her smell everywhere around me. I shifted back and fell to my knees, sobs racking me. I felt hollow, like I was nothing. I was alone, the other half of my soul wasn't here.

I fell into the water and floated, the warm water enveloping me. Her scent was everywhere, but she wasn't. She was gone, but ever star above me told me she wasn't.

I don't know what time it was when I stumbled back home, but her scent hit me so fast. I crawled up the stairs, pulling on shorts as I made my way to the hallway. I stood in front of the music room, staring, simply staring at the door knob.

I backed away and went to my room, no one would touch that while she was gone. My room smelt so much of her, it made me sick. I fell into my bed, covered in her. Everything reminded me of her. The walls, the pillows, the blankets that touched her skin.

her her her

I squeezed my eyes shut as I tried to sleep, but all I saw was her. Her body, her ace, her hair, her fox. He nose, her eyes, her breasts, her toes. I would never be able to love another, never be able to touch another, she was my only.

She was my star, my moon, she was what I revolved around. There was nothing besides her, but she was gone. She wouldn't touch the floor, she wouldn't touch the air, she wouldn't touch me.

And that's when I broke. I had thought I had been breaking for hours, I thought I couldn't cry harder or feel more pain, but this was excruciating. She wouldn't let me feel pain, even when she was dying.

She put me first, and I hadn't put her first. The stupid girl was talking to me about how to tell her mate she was pregnant. Her mate cried with her, her Luna had saved her, and died in the process.

The pack wasn't whole, the home wasn't whole, I wasn't whole.

And I don't think I ever will be again.