A Candle in the Darkness (A Dragon Age: Inquisition fanfiction)

Further Specialization

1 Harvestmere, 9:41

"Next item," Leliana said. "I have brought in three trainers in very specialized forms of combat. I believe, Inquisitor, that while you are skilled in the use of your greataxe, it would increase both your power and your mystique if you were trained in something more ... exotic."

Antonia raised her eyebrows. "Exotic? What is that supposed to mean?"

"It would be a diplomatic boon, as well. Each specialist has a certain network that we could use if you chose them as your trainer, and I believe it would increase the Inquisitor's cachet among the nobility." Josephine nodded. "Yes, definitely so."

"Cullen?" Antonia looked at her military adviser, who did not appear at all pleased with the suggestion.

"I believe further specialization would be a waste of your time, Inquisitor. You are more than proficient with your current fighting style, and I would not want you distracted from the tasks at hand. Of which there are many, as I'm sure I need not remind anyone in this room."

Antonia looked between the three of them. "Leliana, you say they're already here?"

"Yes, Inquisitor."

"Then I will speak with the three trainers and see what they have to say. Is there anything else?"

"No, I believe that was all for today."

The meeting broke up. Antonia looked to Cullen, wanting to walk out with him, but he hurried down the hall. She wished he'd waited; as her military advisor, and the person who had overseen most of her training since she joined the Inquisition, she thought he should have been the one to suggest any changes to her regimen, and was confused as to why Leliana would have chosen to move forward if Cullen so clearly disagreed with the idea. It would have been nice to have been able to talk with him about it before she met with the trainers.

Hours later, after talking with Leliana's specialists, Antonia found Cullen in the training circle. He was breathing hard and sweating; it looked like he'd been at it for some time.

"Can you take a break? I'd like to talk to you."

He finished the series of moves he was in the middle of and came over to where she was standing, mopping off his face with a towel hanging on the rail.

"Good evening, Inquisitor. Did you find your 'exotic' trainers to your liking?" Even breathless, there was a bite in his tone that was rare for him.

"They were ... interesting, I'll give them that."

"I was not aware you thought your current training regimen was lacking."

"I don't." Antonia looked up at him. His handsome face was very closed and just a little bit fierce right now—she could see why his men sometimes called him the Great Bear behind his back. "I have no complaints, or I would have told you so. I hope you've learned that about me by now. But what I've learned is that when Leliana and Josephine both want me to do something, it's in my best interests—and in those of the Inquisition—to at least investigate the possibility."

"I suppose that's fair," Cullen said, albeit grudgingly.

"Why did this come from Leliana and not from you?"

"Because, as Leliana and Josephine pointed out, this is as much about your image as it is about your prowess in combat. It is their job to make you look good to the rest of Thedas. It is mine to ensure that you come out of your combats in one piece, and I believe in training and preparation over the distraction of fancy tricks. We discussed it, the three of us, and I was overruled." He frowned at her. "Aren't you going to tell me what they had to say?"

"I wasn't sure you would want to know." She gave him a pointed look.

He unbent a bit at last. "All right, I suppose I deserved that. So?"

She really didn't want to get into the details with him, and in fact, intended to have a very firm talk with Leliana later over her decision-making. "One of them might be interesting."

Cullen's eyes narrowed as he studied her face. "What aren't you telling me? There's something."

"Well, one of them was a Champion trainer. Something about a battle standard, and what sounded like a lot of posturing. Mostly harmless, though, I think. And another was a Reaver trainer. She wanted me to drink dragon's blood." She shuddered. "No, thank you."

"And the third?" The dangerous edge to his tone said he had guessed.

"A ... a Templar trainer."

"NO!" Cullen gripped the fence, his eyes blazing down at her. "No. Antoni—Inquisitor, you absolutely cannot consider such a course. I will not allow it!"

"Do you honestly think I would?" Antonia stepped closer to the fence, standing her ground against his anger, not even noticing his hastily corrected use of her name—for the first time—in her intensity. "Knowing what you've been through—are still going through?" She kept her voice low to avoid being overheard. "I sent him packing, and I intend to have words with Leliana later for allowing him to come here in the first place. And if you think I have that little respect for—your strength and your courage, then perhaps we don't—don't know each other as well as I thought we did." She couldn't quite keep her voice from quivering. It hurt to think that he believed she could even consider such a thing; it would have felt like a betrayal to have done so, and he ought to have known that. Antonia turned to go before she said anything more that she might regret.

"Wait, please."

There was a raw urgency in Cullen's tone that stopped her in her tracks, and she turned to look at him.

"You're right," he said. "I was too hasty—I just couldn't bear to see you go down that path. I have seen what it can do too many times. I should have known you were too intelligent to risk your health and your sanity that way. And ... don't blame Leliana," Cullen added. "She—doesn't know."

"Surely she must! She was part of the Chantry, she must know where the Templars get their power."

"But she doesn't know that I've stopped taking the lyrium. I am afraid ... I don't know if she would be supportive of the decision. There's no question that it's a risk, and possibly one the Inquisition can't afford."

"I see."

"So ... I'll see you back here in the morning?" There was a hint of a plea in his voice now, and she understood that he was really asking if they were all right with each other.

"Of course—bright and early. Last one here does extra push-ups."

"You're on."