A Candle in the Darkness (A Dragon Age: Inquisition fanfiction)

If I Fall

17 Justinian, 9:41

Antonia hadn't been able to get last night's discussion with Cullen out of her mind; his fear, and the continued silence from Corypheus, had her on edge and grappling with her own fears.

She tried to go about a normal day, but there was no question she was distracted. By the time the War Room meeting came around, she was holding on to her nerves by a thread.

Cullen seemed to be feeling somewhat better, but Leliana and Josephine both showed the same strain Antonia was feeling.

"Where is he?" Josephine asked. "Why haven't we found him?"

Leliana and Cullen both frowned. "We have men hunting for him across half of Thedas," Cullen said. "Which means we're stretched fairly thin here at Skyhold, but if he comes here, we should have a fair amount of warning."

"Before we find him," Antonia said, "there's something I need to know, something I need to ask all of you. We have talked so many times about my standing against him, about my attempting to defeat him, about the Anchor and about the many times I've—we've thwarted his plans already. But ... if I can't defeat him, if I fall in the attempt—"

"No!" Cullen burst out.

"Cullen, I have to know. What happens to Thedas if I can't win, who steps up to take my place? Or is there no one?"

"Antonia, don't do this to yourself."

"Don't you understand?" she said to them, looking at the three—Cullen angry, struggling with his own fears; Josephine distressed, lacking a response; Leliana stony-faced. "I need to know that if I fall it's not the end."

They looked at each other, these three people who had formed an Inquisition from a muddy campsite, and then Cullen turned to her, his arm crossed over his chest.

"Antonia, if you—if you lose your life to Corypheus, it will be the goal of every breath of the rest of mine to see to it that he loses his. I swear it."

"And mine," Leliana said.

"And mine." Josephine looked at the others, less certain, but willing to go along with what they said. "One way or another, the Inquisition will prevail in your name, my friend, if it is at all possible."

Antonia would have been happier without the qualification, without the doubt she saw in their eyes, their faces, their postures, which told her clearly that on her shoulders lay the future of Thedas, even if their words bravely told another story. "Very well," she said, sighing. "Thank you for that. It helps."

Cullen turned from them all and walked to the window, looking out.

"Morrigan tells me that she has found a way to neutralize Corypheus's dragon," Leliana said.

"Has she told you how?" Antonia asked.

"No, and I did not ask. Her mother could turn into a dragon—perhaps Morrigan's newfound knowledge includes such a shape. When I knew her during the Blight she could become a bear or a spider, so it is not outside the realm of possibility."

"Well, that must be nice. I wouldn't mind being able to turn into a dragon," Antonia said, and then she cried out as the Anchor suddenly burned in her hand, sending sparks of searing fire along her nerve endings. She almost expected to see her skin smoke and blacken.

Outside, the sky glowed green as the Breach opened up in it once more.

"I take it we know where Corypheus is," Josephine said softly into the silence that had fallen on the room.

"Haven again," Leliana whispered. "Maker help us."

"Haven." Cullen's voice was hoarse, the word heavy with the memory of what had almost happened there the last time. He turned from the window toward Antonia, who was cradling her hand against her chest. His voice cracked as he spoke. "I have so few troops to send with you—they are all off looking for him. We should have known."

"It's all right, Cullen," Antonia said, assuring him if not herself.

"No, it's not. I promised you an army!"

Antonia straightened her shoulders, needing to be strong, because Cullen was on the edge of a breakdown. "You gave me an army. With that army, we've systematically stripped Corypheus of every extra piece of power he has. He has no army, no demons—all he has is himself and a dragon. Your army has done what it was meant to do." In many ways it was a relief that this day had finally arrived. "And now I must do what I am meant to do."

He nodded, unable to trust his voice.

"Get my companions, please. All of them," Antonia said to the advisors. "And someone tell Morrigan that whatever her plans are, she'd better be ready. I'm going to go get my armor on; time is of the essence."

And she hurried from the room, glad to have something to do, at last. One way or another, it wouldn't be much longer now.