A Candle in the Darkness (A Dragon Age: Inquisition fanfiction)

Nicer Thoughts Than Usual

26 Harvestmere, 9:41

Morning came very early. The Western Approach was on the opposite side of Orlais, so they wanted to make as much time today as they could. Antonia strapped on her gear in a bit of a fog; she'd never been a morning person, and while the sunrises were pretty, she'd have preferred the extra sleep, instead.

"You look like I feel, my dear girl," Dorian said. He was bundled up in a thick wool coat that looked faintly ridiculous on him, sipping a steaming cup of the Iron Bull's strange hot cocoa drink.

"Is that any good?" Antonia eyed it with skepticism.

"Like you wouldn't believe," Dorian said. "I've heard of this, but I've never had the chance to try it before." He held out the cup, and Antonia took a sip.

"Maker, that is good. Can we convince the Bull to lay in a supply?"

"Supply of what?" The Iron Bull had come up behind them. He caught sight of what Dorian was drinking. "Hey! What sneaky thief did you pay to take that out of my quarters?"

"Wouldn't you like to know."

"I would, and you're going to tell me." The Qunari waved his greataxe in Dorian's face.

"Please. With a wave of my hand I could turn that thing into a bouquet of flowers."

"You and whose army?"

"These arms," Dorian said, rolling up his sleeves and exposing his admittedly impressively muscled arms. "You forget, Bull, that I am my own army."

The Iron Bull clearly appreciated Dorian's arms, too, his eye running up and down the muscles avidly. "Yes, and one hit in the wrong place and you fold like a cheap card table."

"It's better than running around half-naked all the time. You spend more time bleeding than I do fixing my moustache." Dorian eyed the Iron Bull's naked chest with feigned distaste, but his gaze lingered.

Antonia put a hand to her forehead. "Do you two know what time it is?"

"5:45."

She turned at the sound of the familiar voice to see Cullen just coming off the stairs leading down from his office. "What are you doing here at this hour?" Not that Cullen wasn't an early riser—he usually was—but he often spent these hours in quiet contemplation in the Chantry or in less quiet contemplation on the training ground. He wasn't usually particularly chatty. This morning, though, he was freshly bathed, his hair still damp, and he was smiling. Antonia wasn't sure she trusted anyone who could smile this early.

He moved close to her, bending his head a little to speak softly. "I thought I would see you off."

"Oh." There was a foolish smile on her face now, too, Antonia had no doubt of it. And if she had doubted, she would only have had to look at Dorian and the Iron Bull, who were smirking at her. She ignored them, and looked up at Cullen. "That was nice of you."

"Not at all." He started walking a little way away from the rest of the caravan, and Antonia walked with him. "I just ... wanted to see you. Before you left."

"Is anything wrong?"

"No! Nothing at all; everything is very right." He ran a hand through his hair. "I warn you, I don't think I'm going to be very good at this."

"At what?"

"Saying the right thing. You ... I know what I want to say, but then I look at you and it all goes ... awry."

Antonia chuckled. "I can't decide if that's a compliment or not."

"Oh, it's a compliment."

She glanced around. Dorian and the Iron Bull were arguing over the best way to load the supplies on the packhorse. Varric was nowhere to be seen, which meant almost surely he was somewhere she didn't want him to be, like right behind her, but there was no one else in sight just at the moment. She lifted herself up on her tiptoes and kissed Cullen's cheek. "I look forward to seeing you when I get back."

"I'll be counting the hours. Be safe."

"Always. I have my boys to look out for me."

Cullen looked over his shoulder at them. The Tevinter mage, the Qunari mercenary, and, somewhere, the dwarven merchant with the fancy crossbow. "They're an odd team."

"Never a dull moment."

"There are quite a few of those here, especially when you're gone. But ... I have nicer thoughts than usual to while away the time with," he said softly.

"Me, too." At his surprised look, she said, "I think about you—well, all the time, really."

There was a sudden warmth in his eyes. "I had no idea."

"Now you do."

They were both wearing that foolish smile now, unable to look away from one another.

"Inquisitor, dear!" Dorian's voice, falsely solicitous, broke into the moment. "I believe we're ready for Your Worship, if you think you might like to leave for Orlais after all."

"Or should we unpack, boss?" You'd have to know the Iron Bull well to hear the tease in his tone, but Antonia got it loud and clear.

"Herald. Ready when you are." Varric, as predicted, appeared from somewhere just behind Antonia.

"Your boys, hm?" Cullen asked, looking them over again.

"Sometimes I feel like their mother."

As one, they all said, "You don't look like my mother."

"See what I have to put up with?" Antonia smiled at Cullen, reaching out to touch his hand. He shifted his fingers to give hers a passing caress, and she shivered, putting a very pleased light in his eyes. "Have a good week."

"You, too."

As they rode out through the gates, she glanced back over her shoulder to see him still standing there, watching her.

"You two are entirely too much sugar for this hour of the morning," Varric grumbled.

Antonia grinned. "With any luck, you'll have to get used to it."