A Candle in the Darkness (A Dragon Age: Inquisition fanfiction)

Shadows in a Future

3 Wintersend, 9:42

Antonia finished the letter to King Alistair, going back over it to make sure she had remained within protocol. Not that he required it—he was very laid-back, as monarchs went—but she was used to doing it, and didn't want any rumors of favoritism toward Ferelden based on her correspondence. Leliana and Josephine had cured her of thinking anything she wrote was safe from being read by other people's spies, and they had trained her to approach her correspondence with that thought in mind.

Blotting the letter, she put it aside, and picked up the next item on her desk, a reminder from Josephine that there were several representatives from Nevarra at Skyhold and that she should make certain Cassandra showed up to dinner in a properly friendly frame of mind. Antonia wasn't sure how she was supposed to work that miracle, but she'd give it her best shot. Maybe she'd ask Varric to the dinner; the dwarf often put Cassandra in a surprisingly ... playful mood.

As Antonia continued to make her way through the stack of letters and memos, Roya came up the stairs with a tray, setting it down on the corner of Antonia's desk. "My lady, I brought you some tea. I want you to be sure to drink it."

The seriousness of the maid's tone caused Antonia to look up. "Any special reason I wouldn't?"

"Taste it."

"All right." She took a sip, and grimaced. "Roya, why am I drinking this? Are you poisoning me? Is this when you reveal you're secretly Carta and have been hired to take out the Inquisitor?"

Roya raised her eyebrows. "That is not a joking matter, my lady. And neither is this."

"Then what is this about?"

"You'll need to drink a cup of this every day going forward. It's ..." The dwarf sighed. "It is too bad you don't have a mother, child."

"My mother passed away years ago, and didn't have much time for parent-child chats beforehand. I suppose you'll just have to do." Antonia smiled at the dwarf.

"Very well, my lady. Now that you and the commander are ... you and the commander, it is well that you think about preventing certain outcomes that someone in your position cannot afford."

Outcomes? Antonia frowned, sipping the tea obediently. Then her eyes widened. "Are you saying—you mean, outcomes. Of ..." She blushed.

"I am saying that now would be a particularly bad time for you to become with child, my lady," Roya said, her eyes unusually soft and kind.

Antonia put the cup down, staring into the dark liquid. With child. Obviously, that wasn't an issue yet, but even if it had been—if she and Cullen had made love on the trip to Ferelden, she wouldn't even have thought about pregnancy. "Roya, we don't— I mean, we aren't— I mean, I really don't need this."

There was a smile on the dwarf's face now. "You will. And once you begin taking this, you need to keep doing so, one cup every morning, even when you're away, or it may not work."

"Can't we make it taste better?" Antonia said, grimacing as she took another swallow.

"I will see what I can do."

Antonia said softly, "I really couldn't have a baby right now if I wanted to, could I?"

She hadn't even thought about it, not beyond some shadowy imagining far down the road, but having thought about it now, she couldn't get the idea out of her mind. She would love to have Cullen's children, she thought. Girls and boys, lots of them. A big, happy family, like the one he had grown up in. But even once such a thing was possible, even once they reached a point where he felt comfortable making love ...