A Candle in the Darkness (A Dragon Age: Inquisition fanfiction)

Watching the Sky

17 Justinian, 9:41

Antonia ran from the War Room. Probably the few extra moments she gained in her hurry didn't matter—they still had to get down the road from Skyhold, after all—but they made her feel better. In the main keep, people were distressed, everyone rushing around with no obvious goal in mind. She caught sight of Varric coming toward her.

"Herald—what do you do on days the sky turns green?" he asked lightly, but she could see the seriousness in him.

"I kill things, Varric," she said. "Go get the others, all of them. We're taking Corypheus down today." Or die trying, she thought, but absolutely no one needed to hear her voice that thought aloud, herself included.

Behind her, Cullen was the second one out the door, barking orders to every soldier he could see. Leliana slipped out after him, and she hurried to the door to the gardens, heading for Morrigan. Josephine was the last one out, and it looked like she was heading for the tavern, where most of the companions would be at this hour of the day.

"Josephine!" Antonia called after her. When the Ambassador turned to look at her, she said, "Let Varric get the companions; go down to the stables, get all the horses ready to go. We'll need to move as fast as possible."

"Right, Inquisitor." Josephine hesitated. "Maker go with you, my friend."

"Thank you, Josie. For everything."

They looked at one another for a moment, then turned and ran off in their separate directions. Antonia hurried upstairs, throwing off her clothes hastily and searching for her armor. She couldn't help pausing to look around. Cullen's pajama pants were thrown across the foot of the bed, her robe lay crumpled on the floor next to it, evidence of the speed with which both had been removed this morning, and the covers were rumpled from the subsequent love-making. Cullen's book lay on the night table on his side of the bed, hers was on the couch. The dog bed in the corner, the haphazard pile of his papers on the edge of her desk, the armor stand in the corner holding his armor and shield ... Their life together.

She shook herself before she could go further and imagine a grieving Cullen having to clean all this up and put away her things. There was no time for that kind of distraction, not if she was going to keep that future from coming to pass.

Antonia quickly strapped on her armor, lifting her sword down from the wall. She looked forward to retiring it permanently after this battle. Well, maybe not permanently ... but for a good long time.

Downstairs, Phoenix was waiting for her, his tail wagging to signify his eagerness for the fight. Antonia patted him on the head. "You ready to kill a big old darkspawn?"

He woofed.

"I bet you are."

On the way out of the keep, she ran into Jared. "Sis! Everything's as ready as it will ever be, I think. Horses saddled, companions heading down to the courtyard ready to pull out."

"Good. Thank you, Jared."

"You be careful, okay?"

"I will, much as I can." She gripped his arm tightly. "If I don't come back—"

"Hey, don't talk that way!"

"No, Jared, listen to me. If I don't come back, you take Cullen away from here. Take him to South Reach, tell Mia to keep him there as long as possible. He'll need ... he'll need all of you if he has any chance of healing from that. Promise me!"

He nodded. "I promise."

"Thank you."

"Maker go with you, Antonia."

She squeezed his arm briefly, offering him a quick flash of a smile, and headed down the stairs. From the landing, she could see the Iron Bull and Dorian and Varric all approach Cullen. Saying good-bye, she was sure, but also promising him to bring her back. Much as she wanted to come back to him, more than anything she'd ever wanted in her life, she wasn't going to do it at the cost of one of her dearest friends, no matter what they said. If anyone fell to Corypheus, it would be her.

Morrigan was suddenly next to her, looking tense but excited. "I will be there. You will not see me, certainly not in this form, but I will be there."

"Thank you, Morrigan."

"It is I who should be thanking you. If we are to have a chance today, it is due to you and those who follow you. Your Inquisition has done well."

And the witch was gone, moving toward the upper courtyard instead of the lower. She didn't intend to come with the rest of them, then. Antonia decided to trust her—what other choice was there, really?

She made her way down to the lower courtyard. Leliana waited at the bottom of the stairs. "My friend, you can do this. You must."

"I know. If I don't, though ..."

"We will do our best in your stead. I have faith in you, however, and I know that Justinia would have, as well. I choose to believe that faith such as hers must win out in the end."

Antonia hugged her spymaster impulsively. "Try to be happy, my friend."

"If I could determine what that means ... Perhaps I will." Leliana nodded briskly. "Maker go with you."

She turned from Leliana and met Cullen's eyes, as he waited by her horse. Her companions were all mounted and waiting near the gate, leaving a decent space for the two of them.

Antonia went into his arms, and they held each other fiercely. "Whatever you do," she said, "don't say 'Maker go with you'."

He shook his head. "My heart goes with you. Please ... bring it back."

"I'll do my best."

"I thought there would be more time ..." He touched the side of her face, looking into her eyes.

"There would never have been enough time. A lifetime wouldn't be enough."

"No." He leaned his forehead against hers. "I will always love you, you know that."

"I know. I love you, too, Cullen, so much." She took a deep breath. There was no more time. "Kiss me."

"Of course." It was brief, as it had to be, but full of love and passion, for all that.

Antonia cupped his cheek in her unmarked hand. "Smile for me, Cullen."

He tried, she had to give him that, when she was certain smiling was the last thing on his mind. Then he let her go, stepping back and crossing his arm over his chest. "Let that thing hear you, Inquisitor."

"As you say, Commander." She mounted the horse, giving him one last look before turning the horse's head toward the group of her companions. "You all ready to kick some darkspawn ass?"

Their rousing cheer was heartening to her. With them all behind her, she galloped out of Skyhold.