Tonight I'm Getting Over You

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

“Belle, will you explain to me your intentions for coming here? Hindi naman ako nagrereklamo eh, I also wanted to pray for Sto. Niño’s guidance pero sana naman i-explain mo sa ‘kin kung anong panata mo. I’m not judging you or anything but this is just so not you. Do you have a big problem that you’re not telling me?” Lorrain, my bestfreind, was panting, gasping for air habang pilit akong inuusisa. Hinihingal kaming dalawa ng bonggang bongga, ikaw ba naman kasi ang umakyat ng 500 steps papuntang tuktok ng Sto. Niño Shrine sa ilalim ng masakit na init ng araw.

The least she wanted is an explanation and I owe her that much for dragging here, so I blurted, “I want a baby.”

I continued climbing the steps though I knew she stopped and she shrieked. “WHAT?!”

Nilingon ko sya, and to say disbelief is written all over her face is an understatement. Napatingin sa amin ang ibang pumapanata but Lorrain was oblivious to them. She just looked at me with her hand covering her mouth na para bang hindi na sya maka-recover sa sinabi ko.

I shrugged my shoulders and went down to her. “Don’t overreact. I know it’s sudden pero ito na talaga ang gusto ko, matagal na. I hope you’ll understand.”

“Of course I’ll understand.” The look she gave says that I’m an idiot for assuming that she won’t, given that she’s my ultimate bestfriend. “Having a baby is every woman’s dream, well maliban sa akin at alam mo yun. May pinagtataka lang naman ako.”

“At ano yun?”

“Pano ka magkakaroon ng baby kung wala ka namang asawa. Heck, you don’t even have a boyfriend. Diba dapat lalake muna ang dapat atupagin mo bago si baby?”

“Sinong nagsabi na kailangan ko ng asawa o boyfriend?”

Lorrain’s brow furrowed in confusion. “Well, hello...of course you need a man, you can’t reproduce without sperm and you can’t have that sperm inside your uterus without having sex with your husband.” Trust her to be this frank. Downright straightforward to say the word sex and sperm in a place this holy. Hindi naman nya binanastos ang lugar, ganito lang talaga ang ugali ni Lorrain. Walang preno magsalita at sasabihin kung ano ang gusto nyang sabihin. I bet she was unaware of her words and I was right, nanlaki ang mga mata nya at napatingin sa paligid. “OMG, did I just say sex? Napalakas ba ang  boses ko? Did anybody hear? Lord, I’m so sorry.” Napapikit sya at parang napadasal.

Napahugot ako ng hininga. “Rain, hindi naman ako bobo para hindi malaman yan. But finding a husband is out of the picture right now. I just need a baby, a flesh of my own flesh.”

“You’re not insane right?” She asked. “You’re not praying to be like Mama Mary right?”

What? Oh for heaven’s sake! “Lorrain, for starters I’m not a virgin anymore. At saka bakit mo naisip yun? Are you not aware of one-night stand, no strings attached? Geez, mas expert ka pa nga sa mga bagay na yan.”

Napasimangot sya. “Then why are you asking for Sto. Niño’s guidance when what you are after is a one-night stand, a baby out of wedlock. Isn’t it wrong? In my opinion it is, it is against the church, against our faith.” Napababa ng isang antas sa hagdan si Lorrain at napatingin sa malayo bago ako harapin ulit. “Living, growing up without having a chance to have a father is unfair to the baby Belle. I experienced that myself and I thought you understand how hard it is to be illegitimate. I can’t support you in bringing another lonely fatherless kid in this world. I’m so sorry, I know you have issues and I have mine but this baby thing is beyond me. Siguro, mauna na muna ako. Magkita na lang tayo bukas, okay?” Napatango ako, feeling the hurt in her eyes I feel guilty for bringing up this issue that is way too sensitive to her.

Despite everything, she still gave me a bittersweet smile. “I still respect your decision Belle but I just can’t give you my full support and participation on it. Para ko na ring trinaydor ang sarili ko pag tinulungan kita. Sana maintindihan mo.”

“Naiintindihan kita Rain, sorry for trying to involve you to this.  But, but I just have this huge need to have a baby at sana maintindihan mo rin ako.” I mumbled trying to fight back the tears that are starting to fall. “I just hope that you’ll love my baby kahit hindi ka agree sa kanya. Magagawa mo naman yun diba?”

She smiled and she reached for me, wrapping me in a big bear hug. “ Syempre naman! I’ll be the best ninang ever! Pero wag kang mag-expect na hindi kita pipigilan huh. Kaya wag kang magpapahuli sa ‘kin!” Napatawa na lang kaming dalawa.

Of course she’ll talk me out of it. She’ll try to save me though I know there is only one person who can save and complete me totally, my very own baby.

I know you would all suggest to marry first and have a child afterwards pero matagal na akong sumuko sa conventional way na yan. Believe me, I tried so hard that I employed all the dating schemes but it all failed. Bakit ‘ka mo?

Kasi walang lalaking nakakasikmura at nakakatagal sa mukha ko.

Tama kayo, pangit ako. I know it is wrong to say that, in God’s eye we are all beautiful and are of equals but I wasn’t referring to it. I’m talking about the worldly preference of beauty and its dislike to ugliness. In short, ang kababawan ng tao.

So I branded myself ‘panget’ in a worldly-mundane sense.

And despite of my looks, nakakasungkit pa rin ako ng lalaki kahit papano. Sa dinarami-rami ng techniques ko, meron din naman akong nauto pero wala ni-isa sa kanila ang nagtagal. The longest I had broke-up with me on our 1st monthsary. You know his reason? Nakunsensya daw sya sa lahat ng regalong ibinigay ko sa kanya. I mean, suhol para idate nya lang ako but that was sugar-coated. Sa panahon ngayon, uso pa ba ang makonsensya dahil sa ibinigay na regalo, suhol man ito o hindi? Of course not! It is better to receive than to give. Masyado lang kasi syang mabait para sabihin sa akin ang totoo, pero alam ko yun. What he meant to say was “Belle, I’m so sorry hihiwalayan na kita kasi panget ka. Hindi nga kita magawang i-date sa labas kasi ikinahihiya kita.”

Hindi ako bitter ha, ganito lang talaga ang kalakaran dito sa mundo sumang-ayon ka man o hinde.

So I came up with this decision na kahit anong mangyari, pigilan man ako ng kahit sino, magkakababy ako. Hindi man payag si Rain, gagawin ko pa rin because I have this huge need to have something I can call my own.

“Belle! Are you okay?” I snapped out of my thinking. Rain was waving her hand in face. “World to Isabella!?”

I blinked my eyes several times before I found my voice to speak. “What?”

Nag-cross arm si Rain at napasimangot. “Nakikinig ka ba? I asked you kung sino si baby daddy. May nahanap ka na ba?”

“Why ask? Pipigilan mo ako? Psh, you wish,” sagot ko.

“Ahhh...curios lang ako.” Hindi sya makatingin sa akin diretso sa mata, syempre may pinaplano din sya.

I shrugged. “Adam McKnight.”

Tumawa sya. “Wag ka ngang mag-joke! Seryoso ako, sino?”

I gave her my oh-so-serious-business look. “So am I. My baby-daddy is Adam McKnight.”

She gasped. “You mean, Adam McKnight, your ultimate crush ever since the world begun, the rich and famous, gorgeous and perfect Adam McKnight?”

Adam McKnight, the handsome and famous son of Elena Lopez, a Filipino actress and Sir James Mcknight, an English tycoon and aristocrat in England.

The daddy of my soon-to-be baby.

I grinned at her disbelief. “No other than.”