Jorrdyn's POV
I sat in front of the mirror, wondering it this is all my life will every be. Pain and misery. I held the gold watch my father always used to wear around his wrist in my hand. I was dead, stopped ticking. I couldn't help of think of it all as a metaphor. Maybe I could have kept him going, been his battery to help him keep tickin.
The funeral was tomorrow, well, today. 1 in the morning and I still cant sleep. Guess it just all the pressure of tomorrow. Would they have even wanted a funeral? Help remind people of how miserable their lives were that they had to kill themselves. I wish they were here. I could hear the kids at school, talking bout how much they hated their parents. Their parents that would sacrifice anything for them, something my parents would never do. My family wasn't happy. We didn't share those happy times, watching tv together and going out for pizza. The audacity they had to tell me to just get over it.
''Jordyn?'' I turned to my sister who was standing in the doorway of my room, nothing but her pajamas. ''You okay?'' I nodded as she came to sit by me wrapping her arms around me. Then, I had this feeling I hadn't had in a while. The feeling that I wasn't alone in this cruel world. Suddenly, I burst into tears and Isabelle squeezed my shoulder tighter and lying my head on her shoulder. My tears drenched her shirt as I continued to cry.
''The funerals tomorrow''. I looked up at Isabelle who was also crying. ''I'm scared. I don't want them to be gone. I want them here, forever. I want my mom to come and sit me between her legs, brushing my hair as my dad grilles out back. I just don't want it to be true''. my sobs became harder as we lie on the floor, hugging onto each other tight as possible.
''Its okay, Jordyn. I understand''. And she does, she just lost her parents a few days ago. She's going through pain too. But I have to be strong for the both of us.
''We got this, Izzy. Its us against the world now. Just know, I'm not going anywhere''. She smiled as she climbed into my bed. I followed her and lie down, not daring to close my eyes until I heard her soft snore. I just want her to be safe.
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Jordyn's POV
''You look beautiful''. I smiled admiring the light blue dress I was wearing. I was so simple, I thought as I put my hair in a bun. Izzy helped me zip up the back and I turned towards her, She was wearing a beautiful black dress. I don't wear black to funerals. I refuse to celebrate. I must celebrate their lives. Even if they weren't perfect. They were still my parents and I thank them for that little time in my life they actually cared about me.
''Ready''. I nodded to Izzy as she tossed me the car keys. ''Lets go''.
I took a deeps breath walking into the funeral home. People were everywhere. People that went to high school with my parents and even old neighbors. I saw Carl, the owner of the drug store down the street from my house. He looked directly into my eyes, giving me that same look everyone did.
I walked through a crowed of 'I'm sorrys'' until I got to the front of the crowd. I felt eyes on me, whispers going around like they thought I couldn't hear them. ''I feel so bad for her, she must be miserable''. I turned towards a tall blonde lady who was whispering to her friend, giving me, that look.
I don't like this. I don't like they pity they give me. Acting like they actually cared. no one checked up on us. No one cared when they abused and beat me. No one cared until it was too late. I don't need anyone feeling bad at me, throwing me looks of pity like they actually cared the whole time. I wiped the few tears in my eyes, trying not to show my weakness. ''Lets just get this over with''.
I looked down at my mothers lifeless body. She was in a silky purple dress. It was her favorite dress, my father got it for her on their 20th anniversary. her hands were crossed in front of her and her face almost looked like someone else. Make-up was caked on her face; it wasn't her. I just wanted to grab her out of that casket and hold her close, hoping some high power above might magically bring her back. No matter how many times I told myself I hated her, she was my mother, and you cant just understand my pain, you have to experience it. Looking at her one more time, I realized how tired she looked. Make wouldn't hide the bags under her eyes, or the grey hairs poking their way through. Maybe this was good for her. She was finally at peace.
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''Okay, so would you rather eat chocolate flavored poop, or poop flavored chocolate?'' I laughed at Izzy's question, thinking as I took another bit of my ice-cream.
''Um. Well, I just love the flavor of chocolate''. She laughed loudly as I joined in. After the funeral, we hug out at a park and just talked about everything growing up. I told her about my parents, she told me about hers. I told her about things I didn't even want to admit to myself. But I'm glad I did.
''I wonder what life would have been like if your parents kept me?'' I looked at her, a more serious look on her face. Suddenly, for the first time, I really saw how much pain she was in. I was so wrapped up in my problems I didn't even stop to ask her how she felt about all this.
''Isabelle'', She looked at me, her eyes watery as if she was about to cry. ''Whether or not you have different parents or not, you will always be my sister. I glad things ended up like this. I would never wish my childhood upon anyone, especially someone as amazing as you''. She smiled lightly as a tears rolled down her face. I whipped them away, pulling her into my arms.
''But, Jordyn'', She pulled away from me and looked into the distance. ''You don't get it. I was unwanted. I was a mistake that they regretted making''. I held back my tears, realizing what she was saying to me.
''It's okay, Izzy. You got me. As long as we got each other, we'll be fine''.
''How you know, Jordyn?''
''Just trust me''.She smiled as we sat in silence, watching the sun set. Oranges and pinks filled the sky, the clouds thin, almost as if they were never ended. ''Lets go home''. She nodded in agreement as we got up and headed for the jeep.
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''Uh, Jordyn, there's someone at our door''. A confused Isabelle looked at me and I looked at the door.
''Why is he here?'' what the hell. ''Just go inside, ill be in in a minute''. She nodded and got out of the car, walking straight past him as if he wasn't even standing there.
Walking up to him slowly, a smile crept onto my face.
''Hey, what are you doing here?''
''I just missed you, Jordyn''.
