The Good Girl's Not So Good-On Hold

Home Alone

The entire night I had this awful nagging feeling almost like I was cheating on someone. Sleeping with Pete wasn’t like it was a few days ago something had changed, I wasn’t quite sure what it was but I didn’t like it. I woke up hangover and trapped in Pete’s arms. His smell was overwhelming and I wiggled my way out and threw on my bra and panties and made my way into the kitchen while pulling my bushy sex crazed hair into a high pony tail. I dig around in the fridge for some left over’s so I don’t have to cook, I’m lazy as fuck but that last hit left me with a crazy case of the munchies. A groaning echoes down the hall and I smirk at the sick satisfaction it brings to know that poor bastard is suffering more than I am. Pete stumbles into the kitchen holding his head, stark naked letting all his junk hang out for the world to see. I smirk at him and pull my bottom lip between my teeth and chuckle at his lust filled moan. By now Tom will be at work so I don’t have to worry about sneaking in and I don’t have school since its Saturday so I am free to do whatever I wish, or whoever I wish. I grin as Pete shoves me up against the fridge and for a second I wish for someone else before I shake it off and focus on the present and my lover who is very very excited. I jump and wrap my legs around him and he sets me on his granite counter and we start round 5,  but I still feel weird like I’m missing something and its pissing me off. So I throw myself more into the sex and lose myself into the drugs once again.

I had stumbled in the door two hours ago, high as a fucking kite with no memory of how I got home, but my bike was in the drive way and the keys in my pocket. I’m currently lying on my bed staring at the ceiling thanking whatever deity that’s out there for my brother working late. I’m still not completely back to normal and after what I told him this morning he’s going to be more over protective than usual. Stupid older brother, if only he would learn not to meddle in my business he would be a whole lot safer. I’m a trouble magnet, if trouble doesn’t find me I seek it out. Life is too boring unless you know how to make waves and ride the ripple. I smirk but quickly groan and hold my head already missing the high I was trying to convince myself I didn’t need, but knew I was once again hooked on one of the main things that got my ass landed in jail the first time or at least the main part they could pin on me. My life was going back to what it was before, trying to lose myself in the drugs, sex and alcohol. Running from the mutts and protecting myself and my secrets. I sigh and throw my head back to my pillow staring at the ceiling like it holds all the answers to life’s problems. I still had this nagging feeling that I haven’t felt since I first started dealing and was worried that I would get caught and what my brother would think but after the first week it went away and I haven’t cared what anyone thought since. So why was this feeling back now? It didn’t make any sense; I was ruthless and cunning and didn’t give a shit. But ever since I met that idiot mutt and his pack things have changed my emotions have turned against me. I groan and give into temptation and reach for a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. I don’t have anything stronger close enough that I wouldn’t have to get out of bed to get. I hear the front door open and shut before footsteps pound up the stairs about the same time I light up, Tom won’t yell at me for smoking something this light, not when it could be a lot worse. The door is forced open and the thud it makes when it hits my wall echoes around my room. David stands there his nostrils flaring, his eyes are different but that could just be the left over drugs in my system. He runs toward me and throws me over his shoulder, carting me down the stairs caveman style. My cigarette is still held tightly in my lips and I lay limp over his shoulder knowing that there is no point in fighting anyway. I sigh and pull the cancer stick out of my mouth and exhale before taking another drag before he throws me into the passenger seat of his car and locks me in. I just watch him run around, when he gets in his eyes are wide like he expected more of a fight but he continues on his mission still not talking. He starts the car and speeds out onto the road and toward the same road he took earlier. I sigh and relax more when I realize where I’m going. He’s taking me back to the pack house, oh joy.