Nerdalert

Her hand reaches out to me, stroking my face as she whispers to me "I love you Alex, always remember that." She is beginning to fade away, I am yelling now, calling for her. "Mum no, Mum!?" the bed is left empty, the room so empty, the white walls enclosing me in its insufferable smell. I turn to run, to where? Anywhere, but as I twist around from wall to wall I realise there is no escape from this living nightmare...

'Beep, Beep, Beep, Beep.'

Slowly lifting my arm I swipe my phone off my desk and turn my alarm off. I wipe the beads of sweat from my forehead, quickly glancing around my room for the door, I am comforted by it's bright blue presence.

It's been 5 years, the day seems so clear.

I shake my head remembering that she wouldn't want me to be sad but to 'live in the moment' like she'd always said. My mother was quite a wild card, she was an artist. I can remember waking up early in the morning and finding her slumped over her sketch pad fast asleep. The way her slight curls would fall over her face like a veil when I woke her up with a nice warm cup of coffee. Sometimes when I go downstairs I expect her to see her there again, waiting for me to wake her up, but she's gone now... and I have to accept that.

I unlock my phone and stare at the time.

6:30am

Sighing I bury my face in my pillow willing myself to get up and face reality. After about 5 minutes I finally get up and reach for my glasses on top of the chemistry textbook I was reading last night. After gaining full vision and balance I trudge to the bathroom. I arrive in the kitchen just slightly more optimistic now that I have washed my face and brushed my teeth. Opening the fridge I scan its contents.

"Do you want me to make you chocolate chip pancakes Alex?" Dad asks as he lets Elsie, our puppy in from the garden.

"Uhhh, no it's fine dad I'll just have some tomatoes on some SAO's. Thanks for the offer though."

My dad is the type of dad that will jump fences to see his little girl succeed but will jab my brother with a very pointy stick until he has done the best he can do. He was affected the most when she died, but was the first to bounce back. I guess he didn't want to put us on the wrong track with the loss, he's my hero. But sometimes I watch him zone out and I can tell he's thinking about her, Dad is strong for us though and I love him for that.

"What time did Ross get in last night or should I say morning?"

"About 1-ish, how did you know I was awake when he got in?"

"Your lamp is pretty bright sweety, I can see it the bottom of your door plus I could hear you flipping through your textbook when I went to bed. I figured you'd be up for a while longer as well."

"Oh." I say to myself as I grab a tomato out of the fridge and begin thinly slicing it on the chopping board.

After breakfast I head upstairs to get ready for school. I slip into my school uniform which consists of a navy blue skirt accompanied by a short sleeve button up shirt dress with ties; I pull my long white socks up to my knees as I secure my ties to the front of my uniform. I pull my chestnut hair back into a tight ponytail and finish it with a light blue ribbon, packing my school bag I notice Elsie has jumped onto my bed and is curiously sniffing at my calculator on my desk.

"Don't even think about it you," I say warningly but still playfully to the mischievous little pup ruffling the curls on the top of her head.

Swiping up my calculator I drop it into my bag as Ross enters my room already dressed in his uniform with his bedraggled hair left astray.

"Good morning Alex," Ross greeted as he plonked himself onto my bed.

"Good morning brother dearest, you were out late this morning."

"Yeah, I lost track of time..."

"You really shouldn't be staying out that late especially on a school night, your starting to get Dad worried you know?" I interrupt.

"Yeah, yeah."

Reaching down he scoops up Elsie, gently giving her a scratch she rolls over on his lap waiting for him to rub her belly. He smiles gently, the smile that seldom comes out since we found out. The day we stood outside her room, when the doctors told us she was dying.

"Well we better get going if we don't want to be late for school then."

Emerging from my thoughts and memories I nod absentmindedly slinging my bag over my shoulder.

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Yay first chapter! Not sure if it's short... please comment on what you think so far. I guess it was just the introductory part of the story so get ready for more *stuff* to happen. :)

I hope you enjoyed it!

p.s. SAO's are salted crackers

xx Emma