"You...you what?" I almost chocked on my own words.
"It's too noisy in here...come with me" Harry held my hand in his sweaty one and pulled me out the door. I just followed him quietly, the only noise was the clicking of my heels and Harry's heavy breathing as he lead the way to a little alley behind the pub. A little alley which was much...much quieter.
"Wait" I pulled my hand away from his grasp and looked around. Harry turned to look at me, eyebrows furrowing together. "Promise me that you aren't going to hit me or something...because there's no one around here and I don't know what you might have up your sleeve" I was afraid. Afraid of what Harry might do when we were alone, it was impossible to predict how Harry might react to something. Harry gave me a sad smile and slowly shook his head, wiping his mouth with his hand. He passed a shaky hand through his hair and then gulped before looking upto my face again.
"Please trust me...the last thing I want to do is hurt you" he gently took my hand in his again and walked a few steps before stopping, making sure that both of us were hidden in the shadows, away from the public's view.
"Harry I-"
"Just listen to me okay? Just hear me out before you say anything...I just need to tell you" he took a deep breath and looked into my eyes. I quietly nodded and he held both of my hands in his, taking a step forward. "Khadija...I know what you think of me, that I'm some spoilt pop star who gets everything he lays eyes on. And you're right I am...or I was" he whispered the last part, passing his long fingers through his curls "what I'm trying to say is that eversince that night, that night 10 days ago, I've wanted to punch my ego in the balls and just be with you. No one's ever called me egoistic before, I guess everyone's always been too afraid of my temper but then there's YOU. The girl that speaks her mind and isn't afraid of telling other people what she really thinks. The girl that makes me realise that there isn't only one way to spend a night with a girl. The girl that opens up a part of me that no one has ever dared to touch. You make me want to change, to be a different person, a better person" he took a step closer, breath hitting my face "I want that girl. I NEED you Khadija. You're good for my ego, you bring me back down go earth, you bitchslap me on the face when my ego gets to my head" I coudn't help but laugh at this comment of his and he let out a deep breath, relaxing a bit, softly smiling at me before his expression turned serious again. "I know that you're a Muslim and there are certain limitations that you like to follow and I respect your decisions, from the bottom of my heart" he looked down at our tangled fingers, studying them together before maintaining eye-contact with me again "and if you decide to be with me..." I felt my breath hitch in my throat "I promise I'll never cross the lines you don't want me to cross" he hesitantly placed a hand on my face, stroking my cheek with his thumb "I just want to be with you"
I studied his eyes for a while before I finally decided to speak up.
"Have you forgotten what you did to me that night? You practically forced me into doing it with you. And when I refused you threatened me. And do I need to remind you what you threatened me with? After all that...you expect me to be with you?" I narrowed my eyes at him, a dry laugh escaped my lips as he bit his lip, his eyes filled with shame and guilt.
"I know I know! I was a jackass! I don't know what got into me that night! I guess it's because I really liked you...and then you rejected me...and I couldn't handle it...frustration got the best of me..and I...." he took a step back, passing a hand through his hair in miserable frustration. "I'm sorry. Please forgive me...I can't look at myself in the mirror when I think of all that I said, let alone face you" he looked up at me again but didn't hold my hand this time, his eyes were wet "And that's when I realized how badly I need you in my life. You only spent a few hours with me and that affect lasted for over 10 days. You're the only one who can tame me Khadija. You're the only one who can calm the beast inside of me" he unbuttoned his collar button, and rubbed the back of his neck "I know I made a mistake, but everyone deserves a second chance, don't they?" There was so much pain in his eyes, so much hope, I had to look away if I wanted to keep my balance.
"Yes Harry, yes they do. But I can't do this...please try and understand...I'm sorry. And as far as that night goes...I forgive you." Tears were blurring my vision but I didn't dare look up at him, I knew I wouldn't be able to handle what I saw. I continued looking at my feet "I...I hope you find someone who deserves you" I managed to keep my voice from breaking and took a few steps away from him. I risked a glance towards Harry and when I say my heart tore into a million pieces, it's an understatement. He was looking at me, lips slightly parted, arms hanging uselessly to his sides and when a single tear rolled down his cheek I couldn't take it anymore. I broke into a run, wiping the tears off my cheeks that continued to flow down. I ran as far away from him as possible. I ran away from the boy I couldn't stop thinking about for the past 10 days. I ran away from the boy I knew I was falling in love with.
