For the remaining day, Harry didn't argue or try to fight. He quietly took his medicine and followed all the instructions I asked him to follow, the instructions that the doctor had given me ofcourse. It was not untill around 10pm that his condition started to deteriorate. As more and more time passed, Harry started to grow more and more restless and soon sweat started to form on his forehead and he sat straight up in bed, taking long deep breaths like he was having difficulty breathing. I immediately shot up from my seat next to the bed, the sleepinessthat I was previously feeling vanished into thin air.
"Harry, are you okay?" I rubbed my hand on his back as I studied his face. He started shaking his head violenty. "Hey hey...look at me" I took his face in my hands, making him look up at me "tell me what's wrong" I looked into his eyes which were becoming watery and red now, panic started to spread out in my bones. Groaning, he pushed my hands away from his face, making me almost lose my balance. Harry shot out of bed, passing his long fingers through his hair and then passing his hands over his face, his eyes growing redder my the minute.
"I need to go home" he muttered under his breath. My eyes shot open as I took a step towards him, blocking his view from the door. I knew exactly what was going on, Harry needed his daily dose of Cocaine, but he'd have to walk over my dead body to get that. I gently put my hands on his arms, making him look at me.
"You aren't going anywhere. I know you want Cocaine but the doctors giving you a medi-" In the blink of an eye, Harry's fingers wrapped themselves around my forearms, nearly lifting me off the ground as he pulled me closer to him. His grip on my arms was so tight, I was sure it would leave bruises, but right now that was the least of my concerns.
"You don't understand" he growled at me, blood-shot eyes staring into mine "I NEED COCAINE. I CAN'T FUNCTION WITHOUT IT. SO GET. OUT. OF. MY. WAY." he threw me to the side and my body slammed against the wall, landing with a loud 'thump' as I hit my head agaist the solid concrete. It felt like someone was continuosly smashing a hammer against the walls of my head as my vision blurred for a few moments, making me blink several times before I got up and dared towards the door, making sure I reached it before Harry could. I don't care about how much physical damage Harry causes me, I wasn't going to let him anywhere near that drug, even if it meant breaking a few bones in the process.
"YOU CAN FUNTION WITHOUT IT AND YOU WILL" he stared at me "and I'm going to help you do so" Harry let out a miserable laugh, passing a sweaty hand through his hair again, looking around in utter frustration, waiting for me to give in, but little did he know, that I wouldn't.
"Oh you're gonna help me hunh?" It was impossible to miss the sarcasm in his voice as he let out dry, humorless laughter.
"Yes I AM" I answered back, my voice firm.
"WELL YOU CAN'T!" he growled and advenced towards the door and I knew he would do absolutely anything to get me out of the way.
"WHY!?" I shouted at him, making him stop in his tracks. "WHY CAN'T I?" Harry stared at me and then blinked a few times before answering my question.
"You really wanna know why?"
"Yes I do!"
"Because you're the reason I started taking drugs in the first place! YOU LEFT ME AND I WENT CRAZY BECAUSE I'VE NEVER NEEDED ANYONE OR ANYTHING AS BADLY AS I NEEDED YOU! AND THEN YOU LEFT ME...LEAVING DRUGS BEHIND! SO THANK YOU KHADIJA, THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH FOR EVERYTHING THAT YOU'VE DONE BUT I DON'T NEED YOU ANYMORE" My heart stopped beating for a second as I heard those words come out of his mouth...I...me. It was me. The boy really was in love with me. I was the reason he turned to Cocaine...I can't believe this, Harry's movements brought me back to reality, he was headed towards the door again, I made a huge leap towards the door and slammed it, turning the key before throwing it out the window. But that wasn't something I needed to worry about, I knew exactly where the spare key was.
"ARE YOU FUCKING OUT OF YOUR MIND!?" Harry screamed, turning to face me with fury in his eyes.
"I won't let you go" my voice was shaking now but I knew that I had to stand my ground.
"UGHHHH FUCK!" Harry screamed at the top of his lungs,, hands in his hair as he walked around the room impatiently. "YOU DON'T FUCKING UNDERSTAND DO YOU!? I CAN'T DO THIS! I NEED COCAINE! I NEED IT...I NEED IT...I NEED IT!" I gasped as Harry hit his fist in the wall, cracking the concrete as his knuckles immediately started bleeding. He leaned his forehead against the wall then, begging for the drug he thought his life was so dependant upon. But I knew that he could go through this, the doctor said he could. I ran towards Harry, examining his hand and then holding his face in my hands, brushing away the hair from his face.
"I'm going to get you through this Harry. I promise you I will. You won't ever need Cocaine again. I;m here for you...please let me help you, I want to" Harry let out a low chuckle before looking me in the eye, raising his eyebrows.
'Why Khadija? Why should I let you help me? So that I can become dependant upon you again? So that you can help me get out of this and when I think it's all okay you leave me again? You leave like nothing happened and I go back to this dark phase, probably even worse than this? That's what you want right? You like seeing me suffer" I single tear escaped my eye as I shook my head at everything that Harry said, Ihad to swallow my tears before I could find my voice,
"No no no no noooo, I promise it's nothing like that. I made a mistake by leaving you Harry. You're not the only one that suffered. Every second of every day, you were ALL that I could think about" my voice was breaking but I didn't care "Your smile and your eyes have never left my head. I'm going to help you get through this Harry, I'm going to make Cocaine disappear from your life. You won't need them because I'll be there with you every step of the way, you'll have me Harry...and I'll have you...and that's all we'll need. And this time I'm here to stay, I'd rather die than be away from you any more, I can't be away from you an longer. You're my drug Harry Styles. It's the thought of you that keeps me going every day and may God kill me right now if I'm lying. I'm not going anywhere, you understand that? I'm never leaving you. NEVER. I love you"
Tears streamed down Harry's cheeks as I gently wiped them away "I love you too Khadija, I always have" he was crying, letting the tears fall freely. "But this is soo fucking hard...it's so hard to stop, I don't know how I'll..." Harry trailed off and I wrapped my arms around his broad shoulders, pulling him into me as we sat on the floor now. He placed his head on my chest as I rubbed his body, soothing him down as I felt him relax under my touch. I brushed his curls back gently with one hand while the other held him close to me. I kissed his forehead numerous times, which seemed to calm him down.
"I know it's not easy love...but it's not impossible either...I promise you we'll get through this. I'l help you get through it, trust me" I whispered against his skin as he sighed and then closed his eyes.
"I trust you"
