"Is she okay?" I heard a faded out voice emerge from somewhere to my left.
"I think she's dead" another familiar voice spoke. I mentally rolled my eyes, ofcourse I'm not dead you idiot.
"Ofcourse she's not dead you idiot!" Zayn. That was definitely Zayn's voice. Thank you Zayn! I managed to peel my eyes open, the unfamiliar surroundings making me furrow my eyebrows together. That and the fact that my head hurt like hell. I slowly sat up massaging my head, this wasn't my bed...where am I? And why can't I remember anything...
"She lives!" Louis jumped up screaming from his seat, throwing his hands up in the air like he had just won the lottery.
"Jeez...calm down, would you? My head hurts" I tried massaging my head to soothe away the pain, but to no avail. Louis mouthed a quick 'sorry' and took his place on the foot of the bed I had apparently been asleep in a while ago. I looked around at 4 worried faces that were looking at me expectantly. "Guys...why does my head hurt? And why can't I remember anything? And why-where am I?" I frowned, sitting up and leaning against the head-board. Aaah, that's better.
"Well love" Louis started, much softer this time "I don't know what exactly happened but we found you at a bar" Well, that sure as hell was unexpected. "And you were drunk" Wait-what???
"I was what?"
"Drunk" he repeated emotionlessly. I frowned at his explanation, that didn't sound like me at all. "And from the looks of it, your body doesn't have a high resistance for alcohol, because we asked the bartender and he confirmed that you had a few shots and you were almost knocked out" I frowned further "And you can't seem to remember anything"
"Yeah...I bet I must have low tolerance for alcohol...because I've never had alcohol before..." I trailled off, trying to remember anything at all.
"That explains it" my head turned towards Zayn's voice "and don't worry about not being able to remember things, that happens in a hang-over, you'll remember everything before you know it" Zayn gave me a small smile and I slowly nodded at his explanation, letting the words sink in. So that was one thing I didn't have to worry about. The other thing being Liam. What had happened earlier between Liam and myself was as clear as the sky in my head and I had never been this confused in my life...I wish things didn't have to be this complicated, I wish life would be easier, I wish Harry was here. Even the mention of his name in my own head makes my body ache with the longing to be with him. This isn't fair, life isn't fair.
I studied Liam for a while, he sat on the sofa, lost in deep thought, oblivious to his surroundings, and I'm pretty sure I looked the same way. There's only one thing I know for now, I have to avoid Liam, confrontation with him requires mental and physical power, and currently I had none of those.
I was brought back to reality by the movement of the boys around me. They all got up and started to make their way out the room before giving my assuring smiles.
"We'll give you some time alone" Louis spoke gently "If you need anything, remember we're just a call away"
"Thank you Louis"
"No problem Khadija. We're all here for you" Louis squeezed my hand gently before joining the others at the door, Niall being he last one in the queue to leave.
"Niall?" my voice stopped him in his tracks as he turned around, a puzzled look on his face.
"Yea?"
"Can-can I talk to you?" Honestly, I didn't know how Niall would react to this question. I knew he would be surprised, I mean I've never really had a talk with Niall, but I needed to talk to someone, and Niall seemed like the person I was looking for.
"Sure" he turned around, gently closing the door behind him before making his way towards the bed I sat on. He plopped down infront of me, swinging his legs that hung down the side of the bed like a baby. "What did you want to talk about?"
"Liam"
He stopped swinging his legs and pursed his lips, furrowing his eyebrows a bit as he turned to face me.
"What about Liam?" Well, atleast now he knew I wanted to talk about something serious. I let out a deep breath and carelessly looked down at my hands,
"Well umm...Niall, Liam and I have been having these awkward moments lately and this morning he confronted me, assuring me about the feelings he had for me" I looked up from under my eyelashes at Niall to see his reaction, he nodded slowly, encouraging me to go on.
"You're not shocked by this at all?"
"No" he shrugged "I may not speak much when it comes to such matters, but I'm not blind, I notice stuff"
"Oh" was all I mustered. Well, this was surely a surprise.
"But Niall I can't do this" my voice suddenly grew louder "I mean I'm in love with Harry...even if he isn't..." I felt the words choke up in throat and I knew what was coming next, the stream of tears wasn't too far behind. I felt Niall's hand on top of mine and I looked up at his eyes to find nothing but understanding in those deep blue orbs. He squeezed my hand gently, giving me the support I so desperately needed.
"The question is Khadija...do you like him?"
"Who?" my head shot up at his question.
"Liam, do you like Liam?"
I gulped as my mind started processing, looking away from Niall's piercing eyes, my own wandered around the carpeted room as the thoughts of Liam engulfed me. What scared me wasn't that I was confused beyond my senses, instead what scared me was the fact that I knew the answer a little too well.
"Yes" I let out softly and I felt Niall's thumb rubbing circles at the back of my hand. My eyes filled up with tears as I smiled to myself, that's something that Harry always did.
"Why are you smiling like that?" Niall's voice caught me off-guard.
"Harry" my eyes met his once more before I looked at our hands "Harry always did that"
"Oh...err...m sorry" Niall attempted to move his hand away but I immediately shook my head,
"No no, it's okay...it feels nice"
Niall gave me a small smile before speaking up again "So you do like Liam"
I nodded in response "but I feel like I'm betraying Harry, my heart has always belonged to him and it always will. I just can't do this...and what makes it harder is that it's Liam" I took my lip between my teeth as I thought about the emotional mess I was in. Fuck emotions.
"It seems like you've made up your mind then" Niall spoke "but know one thing, Harry wouldn't want you to do this to yourself. Harry would want you to be happy again. Do you really think he'd be okay seeing you like this?" the truth in Niall's words struck me like lightening "you're just confused love, what you need is time, don't be so hard on yourself. I know Harry wouldn't want you to. And you liking someone else is not betraying Harry, I know that, everyone knows that, you know that...and even the great guy up there knows that"
I wiped away a tear as I took in Niall's words "it's just so hard"
"I know it is Khadijay, I know it is. But you're stronger than you give yourself credit for"
"I can't face Liam, not now. Do you think I should ignore him?" I miserabely looked at Niall's face, awaiting his reply.
"If you really think you can't face him then avoid him...for now. But don't avoid him for long, I know Liam, he starts worrying and he hates being avoided" I nodded at Niall's wise words.
"I'll remember that"
"Don't push your feelings away...you might not find them when you want to" Niall stood up as he headed towards the door.
"I'm glad I did this with you" I gave him a weak smile.
"Just remember not to ignore the situation for long, the sooner you face your problems, the better" who thought Niall could be this wise?
"Thank you Niall" I lay down in bed, suddenly feeling exhausted.
"Now get some rest love, you deserve it"
And these were the last words I remember before I drifted off to meet Harry in my dreams.
