Summary: Gerard is turned into a kitten and now they don't have a frontman.
A/N: Drabble. Crack & Attempt at Humor. Probably can also be considered as a spin-off of my other fic. Cross-posted to my AO3 account. :)
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"So... what are we going to do for tomorrow's gig?" It was Bob who asks the most obvious question because everyone else in the bus had already lost their minds over the adorable and very fluffy grey tabby kitten sitting in the middle of the oak table.
"Don't be a fucking killjoy, Bob," Ray spats while petting the kitten's head and stroking his gorgeous coat. The kitten meowed appreciatively at Ray.
"But that's Gerard!" Bob pointed out again the obvious, eyeing the kitten.
"Meow!" Gerard the kitten responds at him as if he knows he's being addressed by the drummer.
"Guys, we have a gig tomorrow and Gerard is now a kitten!" Bob points out and bit his tongue so the words adorable, fluffy, tiny, and soft that describe the kitten will not slip out of his mouth.
"Fuck the gig," says Frank. Well of course it will be Frank who doesn't give a damn about their gig because all his attention is now on the said kitten that is now climbing in his lap and rolling over.
"Aww," Ray almost died out of cuteness. "Give me Gerard! Give him to me, please? Pretty please?" Ray plucked the kitten from Frank's lap even before he can protest and put him back in the table. Gerard meowed adorably at Ray and Ray just died.
Then the kitten's human brother, Mikey just snapped his already thousandth photo of Gerard the kitten. "Mom and dad will be fucking elated once they see this. Come on, Gee, roll over!"
And as if Gerard understands his brother, the kitten roll to his back and presented his glorious fluffy belly. Mikey quickly snap a photo and then shifted to video recording the kitten who's now stretching out and purring loudly.
"Aww, shit, what a beautiful kitty, yes you are adorable," Ray says in a very silly voice and he can't stop petting the cat and now moves his fingers from stroking his chin until he's now stroking the kitten's soft belly. But the kitten quickly swiped his sharp claws at him.
"Oww!" Ray pulled the digit that Gerard just attacked. Gerard stood up on all fours and jumped to Frank's belly and settled there again.
"Well of course," Ray dramatically rolled his eyes at Frank. "Gerard would choose Frank over me," he huffs, crossing his arms in his chest. Ray's fingers still twitches like he's undergoing a drug withdrawal and he have this burning desire to steal Gerard away from Frank and spend the rest of his life taking care of the said kitten. He now plans to go to the nearest pet store and buy all the goodies and toys meant for a cat.
Gerard meowed at Frank and climbed until he now tucks his tiny head against Frank's neck. It looked awkward but Frank is supporting the kitten's body with his left hand.
Frank sticks his tongue out at Ray, feeling pretty proud that Gerard chooses him over everyone else.
"But guys," Bob interrupts them, voice in an exasperated tone. "So what the hell are we going to do for tomorrow?"
No one replied.
-
But actions speak louder than words. Bob went back to their bus with a bag full of cat foods. And besides, everyone knows that Bob's a cat person.
"No Bob! I won't allow you to feed my brother with that!" Mikey says, examining the plastic bag full of cat food in a can. There are at least 10 premium canned cat foods inside and a toy in a shape of a mouse.
"But he's a kitten now and he needs to eat," Bob replies flatly, pulling one can out. "And have you fed him yet?"
"Frank's feeding him now." It was Ray who replied. "He's feeding him vegetables."
"Cats don't eat vegetables!" Bob points out. 'What the hell is wrong with the brain of his bandmates?' Bob suddenly wonders.
"But Gerard eat vegetables?" Mikey says but it sounded more like a question.
And really, what the fuck is wrong with their brains?
"But Gerard is now a kitten! Geez!" Bob marches out and saw that Frank is really feeding Gerard vegetables, specifically a piece of lettuce. But it appears that Gerard dares not eat it because really? Cats are carnivores for heaven sake and Frank cannot forces his vegetarianism to a kitten. But at a closer look, Frank is actually just playing with the kitten by moving the piece of lettuce left to right and Gerard is following its movements.
Bob took the available chair across Frank and watches them with amusement. After a few moments, Frank replaces the lettuce with his finger. And similar to what Gerard did earlier to Ray, Gerard attacked his finger.
"Ouch!" Frank sucked the wounded finger. But Gerard presented his fluffy belly as a peace offering.
-
That night, Gerard sleeps in Frank's bunk, tucked in his neck and purring softly.
Ray still plots on stealing the kitten from Frank.
-
Still groggy, Ray drags his feet and sit on the armchair that vaguely smells like pot. Then he saw Gerard, now human, sipping his coffee.
"Oh god, what I miss most when I got turned to a kitten is this," Gerard says, tilting his coffee cup. Ray nods, silently weeping because he misses the kitten.
"Do you have any idea why'd you turned to a kitten?" Ray asks and so if I know the reason I will use it and turn you to a kitten again remain unsaid.
Gerard just shrugs, sipping from his coffee cup again. "I really have no idea, Ray why that fuckery happened to me."
Ray continues to weep silently.
-
Half an hour passed and Frank came out of his bunk, sat very close to Gerard and steals his third coffee for that morning. "Morning," Frank says, unconsciously rubbing his face against Gerard's shoulders. Everyone noticed but no one made any comment.
"Morning Frankie," Gerard replies, scooting impossibly closer to Frank.
"Huh?" Bob raises his eyebrow at them. Everyone just assumes that Gerard being clingy is some kind of side-effect from being a kitten in less than 24 hours.
-
A few days later, Gerard is still very clingy specifically only to Frank and everyone knows that it's not a side-effect from the fuckery of being a kitten.
