My Crush On Him.

Chapter 27.

Recap:

I should just do it.

For me.

For Dylan.

For my friends.

For Shawn.

The world would be a much better place without me in it.

I should do it...

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"Chapter 27."

I look back at my now cut hand , how come it hurts more now? The blood Is slowly dropping down on my hand. I haven't cut much but i know i have cut enough. I feel so dizzy already.

I suddenly hear my door knocking. Shit..

'Selena?' Shawn's voice reaches my ears. What? What is he doing here? Maybe I'm imagining it.

I wait to hear the voice again... but I don't hear it.

I definitely am imagining it.

I shake off the feeling and stare down at my hand. Even the floor is turning red with blood.

'Selena!' This time my name is called louder.

'Ughhh what what??' I groan. I walk to my door and stand behind it although i get there with difficulty but i go anyway.

'Open the door ' He says calmly. It is him.... I wasn't imagining it.

'Shawn please leave.' I say while tears are running down my eyes.

'No.' He says firmly.

'Shawn leave!' I scream.

'No! After so many days Ava finally let me in and I'm not leaving now.' He says.

Why did Ava let him in? I strictly told her not to let any of my friends into the house!

'Shawn please, leave.' My voice comes out low I don't know if he even hears it.

'No, just open the door let me see you.' I can almost hear sadness in his voice. Is he feeling sad for me?

My head spins and i catch myself with the door handle.

'Selena?? Are you okay? Are you opening the door?'
I don't answer so he keeps on talking 'just let me in , I promise I won't ask anything, I won't make you feel uncomfortable, I'll do whatever you want me to, just let me in , don't push me away, Selena please.' He says the last two words so slowly i can obviously hear the fear and sadness in his voice.... did i make him feel like that? My heart beats faster and my head spins once more.

I sit behind the door and put my head against it.

'I can't.' I say while trying my best to not sound weak.

'Why? I'm sorry , I'm really sorry if i have ever made you feel bad or uncomfortable, i have to be with you right now.' He stops for a Second 'I need to be with you.' He says slowly.

I try to answer him but I'm getting too weak to talk.
I get Away from the door and lay on the floor.
His words are so nice and so sweet but they can't change anything.... they won't change anything.

'Selena?' Shawn calls my name.

'Sel answer me!' He almost screams. But I can't answer him even if i wanted to, I can't talk that loud.