My Crush On Him.

Chapter 40.

Recap: 

'I think if they wanted to kill us they would've done that already.' I shrug.

'But.... I don't know what to think.' Trina says.

'Let's just see where they take us and what Shawn has to say.' I take Trina's hand trying to make her calm down a bit.

She's afraid and I can't hide it even if i wanted to... i am afraid to. What will happen to us? What will he say? What the fuck happened today? I'm so confused i think my brain would just explode now.

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"Chapter 40."

A cafe? That is where we're going?

I watch Shawn and Justin suspiciously as they lead us into the cafe. Weren't they supposed to kill us? Threaten us? I don't know? This isn't making any sense....

They sit on a table and i just watch them, Trina sits after few seconds of hesitation but i just stand there.

'Aren't you going to sit down?' Shawn sighs.

'I-i....' i pause for a moment. 'Okay.' I nod and sit down beside Trina, opposite of Shawn.

'So.' Shawn looks at me.

'So?' I question.

'First of all i wanna say what you two did was incredibly stupid and irresponsible, what if my father's men saw you instead of Justin? You would've been dead by now.' He sighs again.

'Second, I didn't want any of the girls involved in this mess Sel it's dangerous and life threatening and all of you girls and the other boys deserve peace of mind.'

'Involved in what exactly?' Trina asks.

'A lot of things that you can't even think of.' Shawn says casually.

'Sel , who told you about the Dylan thing?' Justin asks suddenly.

'No one.' I shake my head.

'I didn't kill him.' Shawn says.

'What?' He's lying again, Ian told me he did.

'I didn't kill him, it wasn't me. That stupid guy came near my house thinking he'd hit me or something my dad found him and killed him, thinking he's winning me over by doing that.' He rolls his eyes. 'I didn't want him to die even tho he deserved it, but i didn't want it and I didn't do it.'

'He really didn't.' Justin agrees.

'Sel I'm trying to get them all out, all the boys.' He says softly. I look into his eyes and thats it i know he's telling the truth.

'H-how?' I ask.

'I've been pushing Ian away like crazy, he's already kinda out my dad is slowly forgetting he even exists.'

So that's why he has been so tense with Ian? I thought it was about me tho?

'I've got Stefan out for a long time.' He continues.

'Stefan?' Trina asks.

'No, he didn't do anything bad i got him out fast, my dad tried to recruit him of course but I didn't let him.' He shakes his head.

'What about Justin?' I ask.

'I told him to go many times, to disappear and let me deal with my shit.' Shawn says , i can hear sadness in his voice clearly.

'I'm never leaving him, i knew what i got myself into when i joined the gang , Shawn was there for me when no one else was... if we're getting out we're getting out together.' Justin says.

Wow.. I'm really speechless.

'I will get out somehow, I don't know how yet but for Justin's sake for my sake , i need to leave that old rat and get out.'

'I-i ...' I'm at lose for words.

'I'm sorry if this is too much on you.' Shawn sighs.

'It's just i need time.' I shake my head.

'I completely understand, you can choose not to talk to me ever again and I wouldn't bother you ever again.' His eyes are glossy, he really is about to cry.

I don't say anything instead i get up and take those two steps to him across the table and hug him tightly, he stiffs at first but then he leans into the hug. He hugs me back with as much force , i inhale his sweet scent slowly , god how much i love this.
His own unique scent, his unique arms, his warm hugs.

I pull off a minute later and cup his cheek.
'I love you, even if this is incredibly stupid, even tho i know any sane person would be running away right now but I can't, I can't and won't leave you.' I say with a shaky breath.

'I love you too, thank you for staying.' He pulls me back into a hug, his head in the crook of my neck.

'We will think about everything else later, what matters is that we have each other, you will get out of that shit, I know you will.' I whisper softly in his ear.

He nods slowly.

I don't know what will happen to us I'm so confused and my mind is a whole mess , but what will happen if only for once i let everything go and just lived in this very moment and just thought about everything else later?

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